the wrong side of the bed

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

best all around girl

when my mom was in high school, she was voted "best all around girl." my high school did not have that category, whatever it is, but i know that i wouldn't have received that title. i was quiet, depressed, and completely obscured by a wall of hair. now that i am older, i talk a lot and demand too much attention. i suspect that if my office took a vote, i would get "most needy" and "most annoying" without having to do much campaigning.

the other day on the phone, i asked a friend of mine to list ways that i am neurotic. i don't see how this relates exactly, but one thing he claimed was that i drive people away. perhaps this is true. i'm going to remember right now that my longest friendship has been for about 13 years. i have had 2 friends for 9 years and 2 other friends for 8 years. i guess i don't drive everyone away. of course, none of these people live anywhere near me...
4:44 PM | link | (2) comments

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

weirdifying effect on the universe

yesterday afternoon i visited the 7th floor restroom before i walked home from school. even if i am travelling somewhere only minutes away, i still hear my mom's voice in my head asking me if i need to go to the bathroom before we leave. is this a common experience? probably. i'm not going to feel weird about it in any case. anyway, the bathroom was empty when i came in. all 4 stalls were free. after i came out of the stall, i washed my hands and used the hand dryer, still alone in the restroom. i glanced over at the sinks and noticed a toothbrush with toothpaste (blue with sparkles? someone is using crest for kids!) sitting in wait. how did that happen? someone came into the restroom to brush her teeth, put toothpaste on the brush, set it down, and left. what kind of social science emergency would pull a person away from brushing their teeth? and even if that happened, why leave the toothbrush? did she think she would come back later to finish brushing her teeth? or was it something else? did she get to the point of brushing her teeth, toothbrush lifted part way to her mouth, and decide that brushing after every meal was just a conspiracy on the part of proctor and gamble? hell with it, she said, and left the brush for some other fool willing to buy into the man's plan.

i'm no fool. i didn't use the toothbrush.
6:29 AM | link | (0) comments

Monday, March 28, 2005

when i have nothing to say, my lips are sealed

i feel like i have a lot of stories worth posting and a lot of meaningless little snippets to give you as well, but nothing seems to be coming out.

here's a teensy interaction i had recently that may amuse: i was working on a paper in my office yesterday and listening to my favorite depressing music when i realized that i was becoming sad. i emailed a friend also at work in his office and asked him to tell me to stop listening to sad music as it negatively affected my mood. he did as told, but added that i should listen to more death rock as it might lift my mood. um... yeah.
7:32 AM | link | (0) comments

Sunday, March 27, 2005

carry me for a little while

i am suddenly sad. guess what i am doing? yes! right!!! sad music. sad music for sad girls. yep. good idea.

someone make me stop. i should be working on a paper anyway. i should be doing anything but this.
2:33 PM | link | (0) comments

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

i am a robot in disguise

i cannot stop watching this video of decepticons breakdancing. soundwave is pretty awesome, but nothing compared to the little transforming audio cassette. gah! he's rad. careyoke, lisa lisa, and i are thinking of taking some free popping and locking classes, but we can never hope to be this good.

please, someone stop me from watching this. i can't do it on my own.
7:54 AM | link | (2) comments

Monday, March 21, 2005

would you like to marry me? and if you like you can buy the ring.

when i was a kid i think i had some stupid poster on the wall that said "pobody is nerfect," although, on second thought, i think it was hanging somewhere in my 2nd grade classroom. the poster on my wall had a lop eared rabbit and said "you're no bunny til some bunny loves you." in either case, yeah. combined, they sum up how i feel today. except the pobody's nerfect part applies to the rest of the world.
7:20 AM | link | (3) comments

Thursday, March 17, 2005

invent secrets to confess to

i can't say anything right. this is why i have been silent for a few days, other than short little posts. i think that other people can say things better, you know? but, who is accurately capturing my sentiment? not sure, not sure.

i thought it was going to be a mountain goats kinda day, but now i am listening to jeff lewis, and he is pretty brilliant. below is a mountain goats song.

jenny
you roared into the driveway of our southwestern ranch-style house
on a new kawasaki, all yellow and black
fresh out of the showroom.
our house faced west,
so the big orange sun positioned at your back,
lit up your magnificent silhouette.
how much better?
how much better can my life get?
900 cubic centimeters of raw whining power.
no outstanding warrants for my arrest.
whoa-whoa. whoa whoa.
the pirate's life for me.

i hopped on back of the bike, wrapped my arms around you.
and i sank my face into your hair.
and then i inhaled as deeply as i possibly could.
you were as sweet and delicious as the warm desert air.
and you pointed your headlamp toward the horizon,
we were the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on.
900 cc's of raw whining power,
no outstanding warrants for my arrest.
hi diddle dee dee.
god damn!
the pirate's life for me!
7:15 AM | link | (0) comments

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

teensy post

in case i haven't mentioned this to you lately, people do not make sense. i don't think i am alone in my feelings here. peeps=weird.
11:00 PM | link | (7) comments

Sunday, March 13, 2005

yes, yes... you are all right.

okay, you people all win. i whine. a hell of a lot. so? leave me the fuck alone about it?
9:16 PM | link | (4) comments

Friday, March 11, 2005

for all the immeasurable good it did me

why, when i am sad, do i do things that will only make me sadder? why won't someone stop me?
5:51 PM | link | (5) comments

Thursday, March 10, 2005

i asked my mother, what would i be?

i guess my mom thinks i have really bad taste. i know she does, in fact. often, when she sends me gifts, i have been known to remark to her, "do you even know me?" my mom thinks she does. when i question her choices on clothes she buys for me, mom says things like, "you like bright colors and weird things." well, i do, so i understand her confusion. still, i have never claimed to be a fan of warner brothers or of bedazzling.



from my most recent care package, complete with note from mom.
9:46 PM | link | (5) comments

face facts, dorotha

alright, i used to think that even if i did suck as a grad student and a sociologist, at least i was a good teacher. but what kind of teacher am i if i can't make myself grade? if i never take the time to really read people's work and respond to it? if i watch TV and then want to fall asleep instead of finishing my work? i've got nothing to redeem me.
9:02 PM | link | (1) comments

troll

that's it. just "troll." that's all i've got.
8:02 PM | link | (0) comments

just me by the sea

gah. i've been home alone for all of maybe 20 minutes, and i already feel like i haven't spoken to anyone in days. i hate the inside of my head sometimes. i feel so fricking lonely.

when i was a kid, i didn't talk to anyone during the school day. it was pretty bad. i'm probably exaggerating, because i remember having a few friends in first and fourth grades, but for the most part, i think i was something of a loner. i distinctly recall making little challenges to myself like "dorotha, today we won't talk to anyone unless directly asked a question by a teacher." at the end of the day, when even teachers hadn't spoken to me, i would be able to pretend that it was all part of some plan that i had. what restraint! when i would get home from school, i would talk the ears off of my family members. my parents assumed that everything was okay at school because i always had so much to say about what happened during the day. i guess i seemed happy to them* because my older sister was much more obviously miserable.

i still talk a lot. and i need a lot of attention.

* this is confusing to me a bit because, although my mother has told me that she assumed that i was happy during my elementary school years for precisely the reasons i just described, i distinctly remember crying a lot during kindergarten and my mother telling me, "if you don't stop crying, i'm going to send you to a shrink!" good job with the follow through, ma.
5:35 PM | link | (0) comments

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

dear blogger

sometimes i really, really hate you. why won't you let me edit old posts? you will let me create new ones. is it that difficult to let me fix the mistakes that are already floating out there in the world? must you insist that i just forge forth making new ones without the ability to edit?
7:22 PM | link | (1) comments

i have developed a serious problem


could a shoe be more beautiful? could it?

i purchased my beautiful skull vans on monday. now i am fighting the urge to buy these. why do i feel like i need sooooo many pairs of canvas shoes? i already have a handful of chuck taylor's.

please don't let me buy these. i really can't afford a shoe fetish right now.
6:50 AM | link | (4) comments

Monday, March 07, 2005

what was my day like? a little like this...

yawn
7:21 PM | link | (2) comments

today it is soooooo cruddy out

thank god i scrounged up a ride to school!!!! i was tempted to just stay at home, but dorothy roberts is talking today and i don't want to miss it.
8:39 AM | link | (5) comments

Sunday, March 06, 2005

sometimes i flap my arms like a hummingbird just to remind myself i'll never fly


having seen this, i may never have a moment free of terror.
10:21 PM | link | (0) comments

it's good to want things

i thought that i bought some fake hot dogs at the grocery store today. i guess i didn't. maybe careyoke went home with them instead of me. man, i could really go for some fake meat right now. mmmmmm.... a hot dog on white bread with ketchup. mundane and so good.
1:56 AM | link | (3) comments

i hope that you may still find sleep after viewing this. it has already disrupted my night in terrible ways.


this is by far the most disturbing image that i have encountered in my reccent hunt for dolls that will creep me out. disturbing in more ways than i can count, i am posting this despite the fact that it looks like some kind of terrifying child pornography. i hope nothing comes crashing down on me because i have shown you this. i should probably leave well enough alone, but i never do.
1:22 AM | link | (2) comments

Saturday, March 05, 2005

join me for a picnic?

i just want something light. a fruit salad and half of a sandwich. come on by. i can unlock the door and you can just walk in.
1:49 PM | link | (0) comments

beautiful day in your neighborhood

holy crap! it is beautiful outside. i'm going to study on my balcony. i'm very excited about this. it will be my first real quality time sitting out there.
12:52 PM | link | (0) comments

Friday, March 04, 2005

new ultra wow!

just want to alert everyone to a new feature on my blog. please scroll down to the bottom of the side bar. oh yeah! fake names from spam emails! too awesome to even think about. i may need to lie down cuz my head's a-spinning. wooo hooo!!!!
8:14 PM | link | (2) comments

everything is wrong




anony phil sent me a link to this picture. he knows how to make a girl happy. with nightmares. they sure make the waking hours more bearable.



i might as well tell you that this particular image had jeff, stamie, and me laughing for at least 15 minutes. i mean, holding are stomachs while tears ran down our faces. that kind of laughing.
7:12 AM | link | (1) comments

Thursday, March 03, 2005

why aren't there ever after school specials on kids whose lives were ruined by procrastination?

i know that i could have benefited from programming like that. as it is, i am going to be up all night grading. so, um, if you get bored, you could call me. i get lonely, you know. um, and i wouldn’t mind if you gave me a call. cuz i’ll be up. yeah.

now i am going to read just a few more pages of my comic book before i start grading...
6:44 PM | link | (0) comments

okay, but what i am hearing you say is....

i overheard a partial conversation between two history of science professors on a trip down the 7th floor hall.

"i really don't think you should count on me."
"no. no, i really don't think i should count on you."
2:55 PM | link | (0) comments

yes, i am hurt by this

i know my blog is lame, but how come no one ever comments? please?
12:47 AM | link | (6) comments

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

make the world go away


how frickin' creepy is this? marie osmond brand dolls? and aren't these two especially terrifying? do you think this is how donny and marie see themselves... even now?
7:05 PM | link | (0) comments

though born in the Yale-New Haven hospital, i promise i am not a member of any secret societies


i promised careyoke that i would wear a particular pair of earrings to karaoke tonight. they broke. cheap earrings i bought in Chinatown when i was in NYC, what do i expect? anyway, will a tattoo make up for my barren ears?
6:58 AM | link | (2) comments

scrinch


why is it that looking at creepy dolls is my first instinct when i am upset?
5:44 AM | link | (0) comments

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

self-indulgent

i have accomplished nothing this evening. do i have a lot to do? please. of course i do. the fact that i am going to read a comic book in bed and fall asleep before 10pm does not mean that my life is somehow easy. it just means that i haven't gotten done what i need to. believe me, i will pay and pay dearly.

waking up at five. i swear it.
9:11 PM | link | (0) comments

we're still fucking up in a healthy way for now

so, yesterday on my walk home with carey, i made her indulge me and allow me a trip to b-sides for depressing music. i got from a basement on a hill by elliot smith and the grotto by kristin hersh. i am never one to try and lift myself out of a funk. why not go deeper?

i've been thinking lately about how i need to buy some tom waits. i never really liked tom waits, but sean, my ex-boyfriend, loved him, and i kind of miss hearing it. i think that it might be a good addition to my depressing music collection. do you have any recommendations?
5:22 PM | link | (0) comments

my mind is in decay

today, i am prepared for the worst. yesterday, i was feeling sorry for myself when my sister called me and told me the most absurd story i have ever heard. unfortunately, it quite negatively affects her life. i think that today, something even more ridiculous and yet painful will happen. this is my prediction for the day.

bring it on, world. bring it on.
6:41 AM | link | (2) comments