the wrong side of the bed

it's funny cuz i feel like i haven't talked to my friends in a long time - you know, my out of town friends - and yet, instead of making connections with people i already know, i have decided it might be a better idea to write some crap that no one will read because it is so fucking boring. i had a similar idea last week that is laughable in both its stupidity and in my own hypocrisy. i used to write a sex column for the student paper, but i got fed up because my friends and i would get hate mail for our columns (we were too feminist for the general student populace). when i gave up the column, my last piece of advice to the masses was really a rant about everything i hated about doing the column. it was a not-so-fond farewell, and it was meant to last. last week, i thought it might be a good idea to write a column called "ask a TA" in which students could write in questions that i would answer. of course i would end up hating the whole thing. why do i think i should do it? must be sort of like my instinct to eat pancakes when i am sad. i really hate pancakes. they just sit like lumps in my gut and for the rest of the day everything reeks of maple syrup. sometimes when i am depressed and full of self-loathing, i eat pancakes anyway, just to make myself feel worse.

i kind of hate weblogs, too. but, here i am.