the wrong side of the bed

Monday, February 19, 2007

bend and stretch, reach for the stars

i don't normally take calls in dressing rooms, but my sister and i don't get a chance to talk very much anymore. christie works weird shifts (she is a nurse) and i never know when she is awake so i wait for her to call me. about once every other week i get a call from her as she drives to work. today we mostly talked about my nephew's birthday party, although i also discussed the pants i was trying on when she called.

christie wants to treat some of ezra's friends to a movie. ezra wants to have an astronomy and mythology themed birthday party. christie is willing to spend the $100+ it will cost to take the kids to the movies just so that she doesn't have a heard of screaming children in her house (there was a lack of involvement from adult family members who were supposed to supervise). christie claims the cost would be the same anyway. i think she can do a home party on the cheap. my idea is that if the other adults she recruits are given very specific tasks, they might be able to stay focused. i think that one adult per five children should work (maybe 1 extra just in case).

here's how it will work: there will be a couple of activity stations. each one will have very specific instructions and outcomes. activities will center on astronomy and mythology. i'm thinking that one station could be learning a bit about some culture's mythology and then creating an original constellation. a paper plate can be penetrated with a pin in the shape of the constellation. a flashlight would then be employed to illuminate the constellation in a dark room (ezra's closet?). another station could be about the origin of the names of the planets or something and the kids can make one of those silly styrofom ball models or something. station 3 could involve decorating star shaped cookies. station four could be about glam rock. the kids could put on make up like david bowie or maybe even the star child from kiss. station five could be about comic book mythology and could focus on the evolution of the dark phoenix from the x-men series. fun!

before the kids go home, christie could just sprinkle the kids with glitter that will get stuck to their sticky scalps. parents will be struggling to get that out of hair for days!

my nephew's birthday is on april 7th. i did not get the pants i was trying on. please send me ideas for birthday party activities and treats.

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11:00 PM | link | (4) comments

Monday, February 12, 2007

john jacob jingleheimer schmidt

can you believe that i have an uncle who is also named el jefe (AKA the goat)? it is totally true. this weekend i emailed the one in dallas thinking that i was emailing the one in california. i lost el jefe's phone number and emailed him to ask for it.

subject line: i feel like i might want to call you.
body: what's your dang phone number?

my uncle sent his phone number and a message. call away! the problem is that i have nothing, absolutely fricking nothing, to say to him. i don't even know if i can make up something to say to him. my sister thinks i should just come clean and confess to the mistake. what do you think?

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8:02 PM | link | (2) comments

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

don't make a federal case out of it!

i have met, but do not know well, someone who is currently incarcerated for... something weird. should i say what it is? is that the kind of thing that you shouldn't post on your blog? i mean, what this person is in prison for is so unusual that i would guess it would be pretty easy to figure out who it is that i know if you were, um, the man. there can't possibly be very many people currently locked up for this crime. if you wanted to figure out which of these people i know, and you were a federal agent, you could just take that (very short) list and circle the one or two people on it who might live where i used to live. maybe.

i will just say this: when i was telling jon the story, he misheard me as saying "organ smuggling" instead of the kind of smuggling it really was. i don't know an organ smuggler. i don't even know a former organ smuggler. i don't know any alleged organ smugglers, current or former.

he is the husband of my mother's friend. after being out on appeal, he was sent back just reccently. my mom's friend says that he is back in the "big house on the prairie." get it? so, the news of his imprisonment isn't new, just refreshed. anyway, this person is about 70 years old now. he is in poor health. i guess i feel that, given the fact that he is 70 years old and has diabetes and a heart problem makes me wonder if maybe he shouldn't have been sent back. if he were a white collar criminal i'd advocate a life sentence (i'm probably kidding), but this seems a bit different. does it seem like i am being to "soft on crime"? will you still elect me to office?

(okay, wait. i just did some googling found that this was a pretty publicized case in the houston area and among orchid hobbyists. so, there, i said it. he allegedly smuggled some orchids.)

(okay, i also guess there is something to be said about the endagered status of the orchids. that is usually why they are illegal to import. the status of these orchids is iffy. i won't get into it b/c i wasn't at the trial. regardless, this man didn't really follow rules very well, so locking him up isn't really unreasonable.)

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9:25 PM | link | (1) comments