the wrong side of the bed

Saturday, December 31, 2005

this makes me laugh

nothing is ever funny on SNL. except this. yeah, i am suprised, too. i actually saw this when it aired a couple of weeks ago. through some bizarre twist, i actually watched SNL for the first time in years, and yet, this video is not enough to make me watch it again. maybe that could be a new year's resolution.

i hereby decree that i will not watch SNL during the year 2006!
6:21 PM | link | (1) comments

que sera sera

what am i even qualified to do? please, please, please help me. please. i feel so unqualified for any job other than retail and it is the wrong time of year to look for retail positions.

gah. there is nothing like applying for jobs (or, as i recall, applying to grad school*) to make my already piss-poor self-esteem plummet into the basement. i am in the core of the earth. i feel so much less than everyone else.

i should have moved home and lived with my parents. i shouldn't try to make it on my own. doesn't every family need a crazy, unemployed loser who mumbles a lot?

i just want to make stickers and monsters. i just want to do that and nothing else.

* shout out to ol' crooked eye
10:07 AM | link | (1) comments

Thursday, December 29, 2005

home again, home again

i'm back in madison. now i must find a job. now i must wash my dishes. now i must finish up my late coursework. but first, let's look at pictures of my cute family to remind us not to be too grouchy about the world.

Chuck, Jenny, and Ezra. Me and my good grandmother.

Hanukah! Ezra tells us that we are "half Jews" because we don't believe that the messiah has come.

Me and Ezra.

My mom making me go with her to Wal-Mart on the 23rd.

My dad at a computer. Sean at a computer.
8:47 AM | link | (2) comments

Saturday, December 24, 2005

the reason for the season

happy birthday today, angela. happy birthday tomorrow, belle. and happy birthday to st. christmas, too.
8:55 PM | link | (1) comments

austin city limits

so, i am here in austin. i am hanging out with my awesome nephew. we watched him perform in a play yesterday. today we have to fling into action. everything must be clean, clean, clean when my evil grandparents come over tomorrow for christmas.

anyway, the point of this post is, this: joe, i am sorry,but theewillbe notime when i am not occupied by hanging out with my family. i'm sorry that i won't get to see you. i'm not going to be in texas for very long, and there is lots of family stuff that needs to get done. andi have to go back to houston on monday after a small detour to san antonio.
9:05 AM | link | (0) comments

Thursday, December 22, 2005

falling far from the tree

question: dorotha, why are you the way you are?
answer: do you mean, why am i so morbid and weird? why am i so goofy and strange? take a look around my family home with me!

this is the breakfast nook. my dad is reading the paper and drinking tea.

this is how we decorate the breakfast nook.

8:29 AM | link | (5) comments


i'm colder here in texas than i was in madison. my apartment i so hot that i have to open windows. my parents house is probably in the 60's. my fingers are cold when i type. am i spoiled in madison? maybe.
7:37 AM | link | (1) comments

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


i need a second job. but, doing.... what, exactly? i'm inclined to apply for retail positions, but where? and who is hiring after christmas? pretty much no one.

ugh. employ me. or give me a check. i just need some money. please.
7:08 AM | link | (1) comments

when did my life get so out of control and stupid?

i have made mistakes. i am tired. i have too many panic attacks. if i go home, will my mother hug me? yes. good. i can't wait.
7:02 AM | link | (0) comments

Monday, December 19, 2005

Pancake agitates victim: "It gives me a panic attack"*

i hate pancakes. i eat them when i am depressed to reinforce my sadness. because i am sure that i deserve to eat nothing good. i also hate panic attacks. i have been having more lately because, well, it is the end of the semester. panic attacks and the end of the semester are like the opposite of chocolate and the opposite of peanut butter getting together and making me watch while they swap spit.

what is especially burdensome at this particular moment? the papers that i need to grade. why am i posting instead of grading? i hate to grade. it hurts me. my sister feels the same way about her grading. probably my brother, too. genetic?

*what can you tell me about the title of this post? you failed to notice anything special the last time i asked.
6:19 PM | link | (2) comments

Sunday, December 18, 2005

i need to get out of my house

i feel a bit like i might throw-up. i feel like
i don't know what fresh air feels like. i feel
like i have been focusing on things
too close to my face.

6:00 PM | link | (1) comments

so long, farewell, adieu, auf wi.... i can't spell that!

connie dropped her lappy. she is very sad, so i am lending her mine. this is a good thing because i have piles of grading to do. still... i'm a little nervous. no email for a whole day? tell me that i will be okay. tell me that lappy won't decide that it likes connie better than me. i am so insecure. i will miss you, lappy.

(this picture of me and jeff is to remind lisa that we are rooting for her. last night she asked us to eat bad mexican food, and we complied. bff, connie. bff.)
7:01 AM | link | (0) comments

Thursday, December 15, 2005

teach them well and let them lead the way

my students this semester were very, very goofy and cute. one class in particular became good friends with each other, and were always trying to get me to hang out with them. last week, they all showed up to class wearing hand made "i heart dorotha" t-shirts.* suck-ups.

* my shirt says "do what now?" this is something that i say a lot, being from texas and all.
10:00 AM | link | (5) comments

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

but, what does it all mean?!?!??!

jon and i have been hanging out a lot again. i'm scared to ask him if he thinks we are dating or not, because he will likely just run away. he's not good about talking about his feelings. strangely, i don't feel as driven as i sometimes have to find out where this relationship stands. i think that i am disenchanted enough with the whole idea of dating someone that i am just as happy to think that we aren't a couple as i would be to think that we are.

still, i am curious: based on what he gave me for christmas presents, do you think that he thinks we are dating?
a humidifier.

a playmobil cashier and grocery shopper.
6:49 PM | link | (4) comments

Monday, December 12, 2005

good morning to you

when i was a kid, my mother would wake me up with this song:

good morning to you
good morning to you
you look like a monkey
and you smell like a zoo

sometimes i sing this to myself. it helps a great deal. sometimes i HATE starting my day. i am especially reluctant to get going today. i got nothing accomplished this weekend (except for holiday gift shopping).

i feel guilty and anxious. but, my mother thinks i am a monkey, and in my family, this is the highest praise.
6:26 AM | link | (1) comments

Sunday, December 04, 2005

will i remember to bring back corn chips shaped like texas?

hey, this seems like the easiest way of letting everyone know when i will be in texas. i am flying in to houston on the 21st and coming back on the 28th.

um... don't rob my apartment while i am gone. that would suck.

um... if you do break in, could you tidy the place up a bit. i live in squalor.
10:21 AM | link | (3) comments

Saturday, December 03, 2005

this is meaningful, i swear

from a stall in the women's restroom at the kid

careyoke, have you been hanging out at the kid? and why lash out at jon like that?
9:28 AM | link | (1) comments

braise one meaty ball*

i am completely and freakishly obsessed with isabella mary beeton. i really think you should be, too. her book, The Book of Household Management Comprising information for the Mistress, Housekeeper, Cook, Kitchen-Maid, Butler, Footman, Coachman, Valet, Upper and Under House-Maids, Lady’s-Maid, Maid-of-all-Work, Laundry-Maid, Nurse and Nurse-Maid, Monthly Wet and Sick Nurses, etc. etc. – also Sanitary, Medical, & Legal Memoranda: with a History of the Origin, Properties, and Uses of all Things Connected with Home Life and Comfort, was considered the household bible for running a victorian era home.

it holds an amazing number of recipes that will make you cringe and be glad that we live in a world in which jugged hare is not a common menu item. but, it also contains amazing information on the victorian world from a woman's perspective.

seriously, i am rocking a pretty hard obsession with mrs. b.

* what does this mean? why is this the title of my post?
8:56 AM | link | (1) comments

Thursday, December 01, 2005

the men of karaoke


ol' crooked eye!

a moment of joy
9:16 AM | link | (5) comments