the wrong side of the bed

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

i have a swiss army knife that used to belong to my dad

we are having a suprise family get together this weekend in new orleans. my dad is turning 60 on the 9th. many of us will be arriving in new orleans after my dad. i suggested that we all wear masks of his face and that he should have to guess who is under the mask. only my mom thought this was funny. what do you think?


10:06 PM | link | (4) comments

Saturday, August 26, 2006

i wonder, wonder, wonder who wrote the young adult book of love?

my friend carole, who just finished a master's program in library science (or whatever they call it these days), just got a job in nashville! rock on, carole. for the suprising number of librarians who read my blog, here is some smut for you!


1:39 PM | link | (1) comments

Thursday, August 24, 2006

a place for everything

tony roma's is a place for ribs,* not a place for vegetarians. yesterday, we had a huge, day long event at work, and, just to get out of the office for a bit, ten of us went out to lunch. the place they chose was tony roma's. i said before hand, "remember that i am vegeterian, will there be anything for vegetarians?" of course not, but they all said, "oh, yes. i'm sure there will be. maybe a salad or some pasta." i had a sad little baked potato and a side salad. i hate baked potatos.

i won't be going to lunch with the gang again.

i'm such an outsider at work. i don't want a baby. i don't want to get married. i don't eat meat. even the lesbians at work do these things. at this point, i'd kill for a wiccan co-worker.

* this was their ad campaign when i was a kid.

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8:43 AM | link | (1) comments

Monday, August 21, 2006

jeremy "the buggle" freese had congratulated me for getting a job, finally. okay, so i added the finally part, not him. but i do have to say it. i was getting really tired of unemployment. in fact, i had an interesting conversation about unemployment this morning on the bus. a man named willy has taken a liking to me. he's looking for a job right now. he's got an interview for a position with american girl this thursday. $12/hour to drive a forklift. i was looking at $12/hour jobs just two weeks ago. i hope it works out for willy. i think he was going to ask me out. to The Pub on state street. i'm not proud, but i made sure to drop into conversation that i have a boyfriend. the bus seems like the place to get hit on.

anyway, people have said that i seem to be doing better. some people attribute this to leaving grad school. some seem to think it is getting this job. my theory is that i am down from about 20 seizures a month to one. yep. one seizure. you have no idea how much beter i feel.

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10:06 AM | link | (7) comments

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

get on to the bus that's gonna make you stop going rub a dub

so, i'm getting pretty good at riding the bus. i haven't had much practice, you know. i would walk to school when i was in school. but now i work to far from home to do that. and getting to my neurologist is kind of a trip, too. today i went to the dentist. i was very friendly with the bus drivers, and i learned a couple of things. the first is that if you are ever held up at gunpoint, you should make sure to look at the robber's* shoes. people might change a shirt or ditch a hat after a robbery, but they are unlikely to change their shoes. the second thing i learned is that some bus drivers will flirt with you. in a universe in which practically no one flirts with me, bus drivers might. i told the driver for the number 9 that i had just been to the dentist. he told me that he noticed a bright aura about me, but hadn't suspected that it was my teeth. he also told me to break up with my boyfriend.

yesterday i learned that, if you are lucky, when your bus breaks down and gets trapped at the south transfer point before it comes to pick you up, there just might be a woman from madison metro driving around (by fluke) who will take to your connecting bus, thus preventing you from totally freaking out when no bus shows up. but i also learned that just because someone from madison metro scares the socks off of you by telling you that they are doing away with the only route that will take you to your work place doesn't mean that they won't replace it with another. whew!

* "robber" sounds so corny. i thought about using "perp" like they do on crime dramas, but that seemed incredibly stupid. what do you call the people who hold you up?

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10:59 AM | link | (6) comments

Monday, August 14, 2006


i'm starting my job today. i'm really scared that i won't be able to hack it. i am most afraid that i won't be able to arrange all of the rides that i need. plus, riding the bus takes so dang long.

i'm scared. i'm scared. i'm scared.

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6:48 AM | link | (2) comments

Saturday, August 12, 2006

everything is coming up millhouse!

so... i finally have a job! yep, i'm going to be working for the Girl Scouts as a membership specialist. it is pretty much the ideal job for me. one problem is that i have to give up my troops, but, i also have to eat. a paying job is really going to help with the eating part of things.

anyway, i'm going to need some help getting around. the job requires a little bit of driving and right now i can't. if you are in madison, and if you are interested in making a bit of pocket cash, i'm looking for people to drive me around. i don't care if you are a teenager. i trust you. in fact, if you just know someone who might be able to drive me around a bit, let me know. i can't pay a lot, but i will pay you. and i won't make you wear one of those silly driver's hats.

send me an email, would you? you know, if you can help?

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10:36 AM | link | (1) comments

Friday, August 11, 2006

my brother and i wonder

cadbury cream eggs: can you get them on a plane?

is anyone willing to try? i'm not flying any time soon. plus, they are mega gross and not available this time of year. if you have some laying around, let me know.
10:05 AM | link | (1) comments

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

dorotha's not an asset to the abbey

my mother and i began the day with a conversation on humility. i proceded to have an incredibly trying day, and called my mother multiple times to ask her what she would do. i'm not christian, but my mother was a nun. sometimes, when i am having WWJD? moments, i ask my mother instead. she tried to help, and somehow i made it through the day. in fact, she is probably the only thing that kept me from kicking someone in the teeth.

but , i lost it when i finally got home at 8:30. i am responsible for taking out the trash for three houses on my block. i find this job incredibly irritating. people do the grossest shit with their trash and recycling. you know, like dumping kitty litter in without a bag... in the recycling bin! the thing that bugs me the most, though, is that there is a broken trash can behind my apartment. it has no wheels, but it is supposed to. it can't balance. it falls over. i haven't figured out how to throw the trash can away. i'm just not sure how. do i put it in another trash can? what torments me about this trash can is that someone, or more than one someone, insists on using this trash can despite the two other empty trash cans. why? why?!?!?!

today was a terrible day. so terrible i had to use (my mother's) teacher voice on a four year old. so terrible that i waited three hours for someone to show up late just to have them get mad at me. but it wasn't until i was taking out the trash that i was driven to yell. standing alone in the mud behind my house, i shouted, "do you have eyes!?!? can you even see?!?!"

and then, i immediately felt guilty. what if i have a neighbor who can't see? a neighbor who has no eyes? what if they are putting trash in the broken can? and yet, this is impossible. because whoever uses this trash can sets it upright to put the trash in. sets it upright and then leans it against something, like an empty trash can.

what do i do, mom? what do i do?

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9:30 PM | link | (4) comments


i don't know why this story about the crash involving animals traveling from indiana to galveston, texas upsets me so much. i think it is because every account i've read barely mentions the octopus, except to reassure us that he/she is okay.


6:52 AM | link | (2) comments

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

today on the bus, i saw a middle aged man wearing acid washed jeans. true story!

jon and i went to see of montreal at the barrymore tonight. we were sitting in the second row of the theater waiting for the band to come on when a kid sat down next to us. he chatted with us for awhile, asking if we were students and such. he wanted to know our majors.* the kid was annoyingly friendly and, i think because of this, jon decided to get us some beer. as jon was standing to go to the concession stand, this interaction took place:

kid: do you have any acid?
jon: sorry, man, i don't have any aspirin.
kid: do you want any acid?
me (to kid): no, we are fine.
me (to jon): i'll go with you to get the beer!

later jon went outside to smoke a cigarette. when he came back in, he said that someone else had tried to sell him acid. he said, "i didn't know it was that kind of show!"

* when jon said that he was in material science, the kid said, "i don't know what that is and i know a little bit about everything!"

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12:20 AM | link | (0) comments

Saturday, August 05, 2006

i hear the secrets that you keep

i spoke to constance this evening. i was glad to hear from her, but i was also dying to get to sleep.* you see, i had a very, very bad seizure today, probably because i got about four hours of sleep last night. i didn't tell connie about the seizure because i didn't want her to get all concerned. i didn't want to get all depressed about it again. if you are reading this, i'm sorry that i didn't tell you, connie. i know you care about me. i just didn't want to make either of us upset.

* if i am so dang tired, why am i up now? it is because i woke up needing to use the restroom, and then i had to floss. i have developed this weird nighttime flossing habit. i can't sleep as well as i used to, so if i wake up, and i inevitably do, i floss. i have never been a diligent flosser, so i am hoping to receive praise from my hygenist when i go in to the dentist on the 15th. i really want to get some minty flavored floss. the wide, ribbon kind.


3:34 AM | link | (0) comments

Friday, August 04, 2006


i normally do not like to take showers, but this morning, it felt soooo good. i just wanted to let everyone know that i am very clean today! beautiful, marvelous girl!*

* only my brother and sister will recognize this reference, and they don't read my blog. eh, the rest of you can just wonder. or you can go back to not caring what i write on my blog. no biggie. i'm just going to sit here, relishing my cleanliness, no matter what you do!


8:52 AM | link | (4) comments

Thursday, August 03, 2006

this is how i feel today

these are the lyrics to an all girl summer fun band song called "car trouble."

“So I guess I’ll see you around?”
“I’ll see you when I see you.”
Please don’t laugh at my broken heart
It’s bad enough that my car won’t start
There’s nothing worse than being lovesick
when your broken down car, a real piece of shit
You broke my heart, my car won’t start
You smile at me as is if you cared
With the smell of your goodbye, hands in my hair
Why did you wait till a quarter till one
When there are no buses running, not even one
You broke my heart, my car won’t start
You broke my heart, my car won’t start

i don't think these are exactly the right lyrics, but they are close. whatever.

anyway, jon and i didn't break up or anything, if you were worried. this is just how i feel today.

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1:00 PM | link | (2) comments

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

three things that are making this day totally shape up to be awesomely awesome

1. this morning i opened my door to find a priority mail package from my friend carole! she sent me a letter, a playmobil devil*, some bookmarks, some postcards, a check for $20**, a comic book from free comic book day, and a rockin' poster of cyndi lauper! yay for carole!!

2. when i tried to walk out my front door, there was wet cement! this is awesome because "they" dug up my front walk well over two weeks ago. it was getting pretty old to either walk in a giant U to get to the back door or to trudge through dirt and mud to get to the front door. what a relief!

3. i'm doing laundry, which i hate. a load in the wash used to cost $1, but then we got a new washing machine, and laundry went up to $1.25. today it suddenly costs 75 cents!

* jon gave me this same devil on thursday. am i sad that i have two? hell no! devils are awesome!

** i don't know if carole really owes me $20, as she claims, but i am cashing the check anyway.
1:55 PM | link | (0) comments


my friend henry sent me this link for appalachian state university. it isn't funny, but it is sort of interesting because of the images they throw up during different points in the song. check out the only time someone of color appears in the promotional video. yeah.

also, does this video work? does it make people want to go to ASU?


9:03 AM | link | (8) comments