the wrong side of the bed

i don't normally take calls in dressing rooms, but my sister and i don't get a chance to talk very much anymore. christie works weird shifts (she is a nurse) and i never know when she is awake so i wait for her to call me. about once every other week i get a call from her as she drives to work. today we mostly talked about my nephew's birthday party, although i also discussed the pants i was trying on when she called.

christie wants to treat some of ezra's friends to a movie. ezra wants to have an astronomy and mythology themed birthday party. christie is willing to spend the $100+ it will cost to take the kids to the movies just so that she doesn't have a heard of screaming children in her house (there was a lack of involvement from adult family members who were supposed to supervise). christie claims the cost would be the same anyway. i think she can do a home party on the cheap. my idea is that if the other adults she recruits are given very specific tasks, they might be able to stay focused. i think that one adult per five children should work (maybe 1 extra just in case).



here's how it will work: there will be a couple of activity stations. each one will have very specific instructions and outcomes. activities will center on astronomy and mythology. i'm thinking that one station could be learning a bit about some culture's mythology and then creating an original constellation. a paper plate can be penetrated with a pin in the shape of the constellation. a flashlight would then be employed to illuminate the constellation in a dark room (ezra's closet?). another station could be about the origin of the names of the planets or something and the kids can make one of those silly styrofom ball models or something. station 3 could involve decorating star shaped cookies. station four could be about glam rock. the kids could put on make up like david bowie or maybe even the star child from kiss. station five could be about comic book mythology and could focus on the evolution of the dark phoenix from the x-men series. fun!

before the kids go home, christie could just sprinkle the kids with glitter that will get stuck to their sticky scalps. parents will be struggling to get that out of hair for days!

my nephew's birthday is on april 7th. i did not get the pants i was trying on. please send me ideas for birthday party activities and treats.

Labels: birthdays, children, family, questions

can you believe that i have an uncle who is also named el jefe (AKA the goat)? it is totally true. this weekend i emailed the one in dallas thinking that i was emailing the one in california. i lost el jefe's phone number and emailed him to ask for it.

subject line: i feel like i might want to call you.
body: what's your dang phone number?


my uncle sent his phone number and a message. call away! the problem is that i have nothing, absolutely fricking nothing, to say to him. i don't even know if i can make up something to say to him. my sister thinks i should just come clean and confess to the mistake. what do you think?

Labels: family, i suck, questions, worry

a life change could be on its way. the problem is that i might need to use someone for health insurance. if anyone is willing to marry me, and it has to be legally recognized by the state, please let me know. thank you.

Labels: questions

i just switched over to new blogger. can you tell?

should i change my template? i'm kinda bored with it, but it took me a long time to tweak it just how i wanted it.

Labels: questions

i am doing laundry now and i have an exciting laundry related question for my many readers.*

if someone leaves their laundry in a pile on the floor, whether clean or dirty, for more than a day, am i allowed to steal it? even if i don't need or even fit the clothes? what if they leave it in the washer or dryer?

* ha, ha!

Labels: complaining, gross, questions

my family celebrates christmas in a very secular way. we buy crap for each other and eat too much and don't think about jesus or whatever. we celebrated halloween when i was a kid, and we get a bit festive about it still (i don't think that wearing orange to work today counts as actually celebrating). when i was growing up, i was taught the following:

christmas = jesus was born (but he was just some dude, not some saviour. it is really just a birthday party, not like a big whoop or anything. don't talk about it too much at school cuz some people believe it.)
halloween = dress up to scare away spirits so they don't getcha (but ghosts aren't real. this holiday is an artifact of when people believed in malicious spirits. some people still do believe in ghosts, so maybe better not talk about this one either.)
easter = jesus came back to life (yeah, right. but don't talk about it. just eat some eggs and be glad you have yet another excuse to gorge your self on sweets. besides, it is really a pagan holiday, not that we are pagans.)
thanksgiving = be thankful you have food (but don't talk about how native americans were treated throughout modern history. just eat your turkey and pretend things are rad. and be glad they are rad, even though you have something to be thankful for and other people have a lot less to be thankful for.)

so, yeah, they are all sort of religious. except for thanksgiving, which is religious for some people because they are thankful to god for food (rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub) and probably they are also thankful for family, even though i hear lots of people fight with their families on holidays.

anyway, weigh in, why doncha?

Labels: family, questions, religion

well, i think i am losing another friend. i feel like i maybe don't know how to interact with other people. it feels strange because i didn't have friends growing up, and i finally did my senior year of high school. clare, emily, tori, kim, mike, jesson, michelle. that is more than i act like it was. i was a pariah for many years, but i finally found people who liked me anyway. then in college, it became easier and easier to make friends. i mean, the pool became so much bigger. monrovia, grace, sean, henry, carole, gary, alexis, kayla, aubrey, lisa, delia. a year in new haven knocked me down to craig, katherine, and julie. grad school, and things shot up again. strangely, the older i get, the more of my friends decide that i am no good. that i am not a good person.

it is strange to be thirty and still feel that there is such upheaval in my life. much of it is my fault. sometimes i just lose touch with certain people. i just don't call. i get absorbed in something or someone else. my priorities get out of whack.

i guess what i am asking is if there is anyone out there who will watch little miss sunshine with me? my parents said it was good. my mom keeps asking if i have watched it yet. if you know me, give send me an email.

Labels: complaining, friends, questions

my friend henry sent me this link for appalachian state university. it isn't funny, but it is sort of interesting because of the images they throw up during different points in the song. check out the only time someone of color appears in the promotional video. yeah.

also, does this video work? does it make people want to go to ASU?

Labels: questions

being awake in the middle of the night is not a good thing at all. one begins to feel old. one begins to see all of their flaws. the questions come pouring through one's head. are my parents disappointed in me? does he love me enough? why am i such an angry drunk? will i ever feel close, close, close to my friends again the way i did when i was young? where is my youth? how do people manage to spend so much time alone? why am i such a slob? why don't i ever finish things? what do i do with all of these sociology books? what am i doing with my life? how am i going to pay my rent? why did no one ever tell me how boring it is to be unemployed? where did i leave my checkbook?

Labels: i suck, pity party, questions, sad

yesterday at target, careyoke and i saw two little boys, obviously brothers, riding in a cart together. the older boy was probably 3 and the younger boy was about 1. the older boy was facing the younger, and yelling in his face, "i love you!" there was a menancing, growly tone to his voice. he shouted the phrase over and over. the pre-verbal brother just sat there staring. after a few minutes, careyoke and i were obviously laughing. a look at the mother showed that she was, too, but she also looked sort of chagrined. her face relayed a look that said, "i have no idea why my son is doing this or why he has chosen to do so in public."

today on campus, i saw two children playing in a grassy area near a fountain. the oldest one, a girl, looked about seven, the younger one, a boy, looked four. they caught my eye when the little boy, running from his sister, fell onto the ground and she sat on him. i started looking for a parent. the little girl then taunted the boy with a bright yellow duck stuffed animal, which i suspect was his. when he made a move for it, she would yank it away. she ran from him, but he couldn't really keep up, so she would slow down and let him make a grab for her. i heard my mother's voice from inside my head, and she clearly thought that someone was about to get hurt. everyone nearby seemed to think so, if all of the stares could be read as concern. still no one jumped up to stop the kids. one woman i walked past, sitting on a cement wall which was separated from the grass by a hedge and was about 50 feet from where the kids were playing, was staring over her shoulder at the kids. where was a parent or caregiver? we all wanted to know.

just then i was distracted by a purse sitting unattended on the ground. i was thinking to myself that nothing was being watched today, when i heard someone scream, "rain!" turning back, the woman on the wall was yelling over to the kids. the girl stood still, back straight and startled. obviously, this was rain. "you do not punch when you are angry! you do not punch!" she screamed over her shoulder, obviously angry. still she hadn't moved. finally she stands and starts moving towards the kids. "when you are angry, you turn your back and walk away!" she yelled, storming over.

my questions:

couldn't the fight between the children in the second example have been prevented if they were being watched? i mean, the caregiver wasn't even sitting in a direction that faced them. i've never raised kids, but wouldn't it be better to intervene sooner?

when is it okay to yell? when it is a bizarre expression of fraternal love (if that is, indeed, what that was)? when you are telling your children not to lash out in anger?

is it only okay to scream, shout, yell at your own family? can you do it for any old reason you want?

if somoeone names his or her kid "rain" can they possibly be anything other than a hippie?

Labels: children, confusing, questions