the wrong side of the bed

Perhaps I just don't like to think of my neighbor having sex, but it distresses me that the two times I have had to pull his laundry out of the washer or dryer I have found condom wrappers.

Labels: gross

i am going to a dinner meeting on friday evening to a place called Beef O'Brady's.

Labels: gross

living alone is lonely sometimes, but the worst part for me is that i eat weird crap. when jeff and stamie lived next door we would alternate who would cook dinner. that was fun and tasty. now my neighbor is some guy who is learning to play guitar, thankfully acoustic. he cooks his dinner at 10:30 at night. i know because i can smell it through the wall somehow. it always smells like meat.

without jeff and stamie i only have one person to cook for. that means that, unless i want food rotting in my fridge, i can only get 2 vegetables a week and an apple or two. i know i should eat more fresh fruits and veggies, but sometimes i eat out and stuff. this means that if i get a head of broccoli, i have to eat broccoli all week. if i get green beans, it is nothing but green beans. especially because i always underestimate how many beans are in the bag. two weeks in a row i bought asparagus because it is the best food on earth. i ate asparagus three days a week, which is pretty awesome, but i don't really want to get burned out on asparagus.

the other problem with cooking just for me is that i am not trying to impress anyone or even cater to their tastes. i end up eating whatever is around. sometimes i mix frozen corn and peas and pour the left over portion of a jar of spaghetti sauce over it and toss it in the microwave. is this good or tasty or even pretty to look at? no, but it is food. it requires no extra pots and pans. it is ready almost immediately. how about a spoonful of peanut butter and some raw green beans. okay. it isn't my dream meal, but i don't even have to get a plate dirty! a can of black beans, sometimes heated in a pot but always with cayenne pepper and cumin thrown in, plopped down on a tortilla. that's practically fancy! macaroni and cheese with peas tossed in. a whole bowl of edamame. pretzels and chunks of muenster cheese.

i'm one step away from eating uncooked rice-a-roni.

Labels: eat, gross

i doubt my ability to change, mostly because i doubt my ability to actually try to change. case in point: i came back to madison earlier than i had to so that i could clean my apartment. if you have ever been in my apartment you know that, in addition to having a lot of playmobil, some sad looking plants, more crafting materials than i could ever use, i also have piles and piles of things like unopened mail, dirty dishes, stationery and markers, books, etc. i wouldn't be suprised if, at some point in my life i end up with things all over the floor but completely barren shelves. anyway, though i intended to clean, i have not accomplished anything in the 24 hours i have been back except for three loads of laundry. about an hour ago, i decided to get down to business. i put on a video to "keep me company" while i clean. yeah, right. i chose one i had seen many times so that i wouldn't have to pay attention and could "just listen." i am now watching spiderman and not cleaning, tidying, straightening or any of the like.

at least i made an appointment to go to the gynecologist (which one can easily do if they just pause the dvd for 1 minute). i am almost out of pills and my RN won't renew my prescription unless i come in. i don't want to reproduce because then i would have to clean up after someone else, too. can you imagine the diaper pail in my home?

update: well, i organized my fabric and moved my comic books to accommodate my growing playmobil collection. i need to find about 3 shelves worth of space for more books. i need to find places for the random paperwork on my living room floor. i need to pick up stray writing implements. i need to come up with a better filing system for bills. i need to recycle a big stack of paper and magazines.

Labels: children, gross, mess, toys

i am doing laundry now and i have an exciting laundry related question for my many readers.*

if someone leaves their laundry in a pile on the floor, whether clean or dirty, for more than a day, am i allowed to steal it? even if i don't need or even fit the clothes? what if they leave it in the washer or dryer?

* ha, ha!

Labels: complaining, gross, questions

on the phone with my ex-boyfriend this morning, i delivered a lengthy account of my trials and tribulations yesterday.

"...and then i had to pick up a trash bag covered with maggots!"
"last week in bushwick there was a bad thunderstorm. all of the rats were squealing all night long."

Labels: gross, sean, things are relative

mid-80's, when i was in 4th and 5th grade, rabbit fur coats were the in thing. the most popular girls all had them. my strangely sexual 5th grade language arts teacher had one. i never wanted one because that was around the time i started really, really, really wanting a pet rabbit. i did, however, save up money from chores until i had enough to buy a bomber jacket at sam's club. ew. what were we thinking? seems like fashion is now being reintroduced in increasingly short cycles. i hope this is one that does not come back.

Labels: fashion, gross

you know clamato? that clam/tomato juice cocktail? well, they have recipes for mixed drinks on their webiste. i will never, under any circumstances, drink this. maybe to save my mother's life i could gulp down a glass, but it isn't likely.

Labels: gross

from jon. a video of a centipede killing a bat. i immediately thought of my mother. guano features heavily in my mother's cup of tea. as does death. eye of newt, too, if she could get it.

Labels: animals, family, gross, jon