the wrong side of the bed

lately i have been writing blog posts and then not posting them. they aren't working exactly right. for example, reccently jj and jon and i went to see jane wiedlen from the Go-Go's. it was tragic and horrible. she was drunk and/or fucked up on something else (glue?). it was horrible to watch. she kept telling priest child molestation jokes which i never find funny, but certainly not when delivered poorly by someone who keeps shouting to the audience that we should listen to her and that she was in a famous band. before she performed a band, whose name i have forgotten but have no desire to remember, played. they were noteworthy only in that one member played all of the percussion instruments that are given to the kid in junior high band who didn't actually get to play the drums. except the xylophone. he played those things you shake like a martini, but sound full of sand. he played a tambourine. he played the triangle. and he was damned happy about that.

and i didn't tell you that story, which actually had more to it than all that. a couple who were groping each other in especially skanky ways right in front of us. screaming cyn-cyn and the pons. jj's funny comparison about jane wiedlin and an episode of 90210...

i don't feel like telling you about my roommate, about whom i have written a post that i have not published. i don't feel like complaining about work or telling my DMV story. what i want to tell you is this:

i do not want to hold your baby. if i am forced to hold your baby, i would prefer that you not make fun of me for being awkward. i am sorry that i do not like babies. they are extremely boring. if they could talk, walk, or do anything i would be much more impressed. because i am so uninterested in your child, and you know this fact, i think it would be to both of our advantages to avoid having me hold your son. you will be afraid i will drop him and i will not really give a shit if i do.

for the record, i did not drop him nor did i even come close.

Labels: children

i was thinking about my relationship with my older sister last night.* specifically, i was thinking about how much i wanted to be like her when i was a kid. it was just a passing thought, but it came up again at lunch today when my co-worker was talking about her daughters. her girls are 7 or 8 years apart in age. my sister and i were 4.5 years apart. when christie was in high school and i was in middle/jr. high school, i thought she was the bees knees. same with my co-worker's daughters. often my sister and i were good friends, but sometimes she would get so pissed off at me for being a younger sister. same with my co-worker's kids. the funny thing is that my sister and i got to be friends a bit more because we were closer in age. as a little sister, i feel bad for riley, the younger one, and less sympathy for the older one.

* i was thinking about the many times my sister would go to the mall, buy herself a beatles t-shirt (she loved the beatles), and give it to me. i later found out that she really wanted the shirts for herself but felt to guilty about purchasing them. she'd always give them to me when she got home. i just thought she was a great older sister. every once in a while, though, she would flip out on me when i wore one of the shirts and accuse me of being a copy-cat and not having my own personality. what a meanie!

Labels: children, family

i don't normally take calls in dressing rooms, but my sister and i don't get a chance to talk very much anymore. christie works weird shifts (she is a nurse) and i never know when she is awake so i wait for her to call me. about once every other week i get a call from her as she drives to work. today we mostly talked about my nephew's birthday party, although i also discussed the pants i was trying on when she called.

christie wants to treat some of ezra's friends to a movie. ezra wants to have an astronomy and mythology themed birthday party. christie is willing to spend the $100+ it will cost to take the kids to the movies just so that she doesn't have a heard of screaming children in her house (there was a lack of involvement from adult family members who were supposed to supervise). christie claims the cost would be the same anyway. i think she can do a home party on the cheap. my idea is that if the other adults she recruits are given very specific tasks, they might be able to stay focused. i think that one adult per five children should work (maybe 1 extra just in case).



here's how it will work: there will be a couple of activity stations. each one will have very specific instructions and outcomes. activities will center on astronomy and mythology. i'm thinking that one station could be learning a bit about some culture's mythology and then creating an original constellation. a paper plate can be penetrated with a pin in the shape of the constellation. a flashlight would then be employed to illuminate the constellation in a dark room (ezra's closet?). another station could be about the origin of the names of the planets or something and the kids can make one of those silly styrofom ball models or something. station 3 could involve decorating star shaped cookies. station four could be about glam rock. the kids could put on make up like david bowie or maybe even the star child from kiss. station five could be about comic book mythology and could focus on the evolution of the dark phoenix from the x-men series. fun!

before the kids go home, christie could just sprinkle the kids with glitter that will get stuck to their sticky scalps. parents will be struggling to get that out of hair for days!

my nephew's birthday is on april 7th. i did not get the pants i was trying on. please send me ideas for birthday party activities and treats.

Labels: birthdays, children, family, questions

i doubt my ability to change, mostly because i doubt my ability to actually try to change. case in point: i came back to madison earlier than i had to so that i could clean my apartment. if you have ever been in my apartment you know that, in addition to having a lot of playmobil, some sad looking plants, more crafting materials than i could ever use, i also have piles and piles of things like unopened mail, dirty dishes, stationery and markers, books, etc. i wouldn't be suprised if, at some point in my life i end up with things all over the floor but completely barren shelves. anyway, though i intended to clean, i have not accomplished anything in the 24 hours i have been back except for three loads of laundry. about an hour ago, i decided to get down to business. i put on a video to "keep me company" while i clean. yeah, right. i chose one i had seen many times so that i wouldn't have to pay attention and could "just listen." i am now watching spiderman and not cleaning, tidying, straightening or any of the like.

at least i made an appointment to go to the gynecologist (which one can easily do if they just pause the dvd for 1 minute). i am almost out of pills and my RN won't renew my prescription unless i come in. i don't want to reproduce because then i would have to clean up after someone else, too. can you imagine the diaper pail in my home?

update: well, i organized my fabric and moved my comic books to accommodate my growing playmobil collection. i need to find about 3 shelves worth of space for more books. i need to find places for the random paperwork on my living room floor. i need to pick up stray writing implements. i need to come up with a better filing system for bills. i need to recycle a big stack of paper and magazines.

Labels: children, gross, mess, toys

yesterday at target, careyoke and i saw two little boys, obviously brothers, riding in a cart together. the older boy was probably 3 and the younger boy was about 1. the older boy was facing the younger, and yelling in his face, "i love you!" there was a menancing, growly tone to his voice. he shouted the phrase over and over. the pre-verbal brother just sat there staring. after a few minutes, careyoke and i were obviously laughing. a look at the mother showed that she was, too, but she also looked sort of chagrined. her face relayed a look that said, "i have no idea why my son is doing this or why he has chosen to do so in public."

today on campus, i saw two children playing in a grassy area near a fountain. the oldest one, a girl, looked about seven, the younger one, a boy, looked four. they caught my eye when the little boy, running from his sister, fell onto the ground and she sat on him. i started looking for a parent. the little girl then taunted the boy with a bright yellow duck stuffed animal, which i suspect was his. when he made a move for it, she would yank it away. she ran from him, but he couldn't really keep up, so she would slow down and let him make a grab for her. i heard my mother's voice from inside my head, and she clearly thought that someone was about to get hurt. everyone nearby seemed to think so, if all of the stares could be read as concern. still no one jumped up to stop the kids. one woman i walked past, sitting on a cement wall which was separated from the grass by a hedge and was about 50 feet from where the kids were playing, was staring over her shoulder at the kids. where was a parent or caregiver? we all wanted to know.

just then i was distracted by a purse sitting unattended on the ground. i was thinking to myself that nothing was being watched today, when i heard someone scream, "rain!" turning back, the woman on the wall was yelling over to the kids. the girl stood still, back straight and startled. obviously, this was rain. "you do not punch when you are angry! you do not punch!" she screamed over her shoulder, obviously angry. still she hadn't moved. finally she stands and starts moving towards the kids. "when you are angry, you turn your back and walk away!" she yelled, storming over.

my questions:

couldn't the fight between the children in the second example have been prevented if they were being watched? i mean, the caregiver wasn't even sitting in a direction that faced them. i've never raised kids, but wouldn't it be better to intervene sooner?

when is it okay to yell? when it is a bizarre expression of fraternal love (if that is, indeed, what that was)? when you are telling your children not to lash out in anger?

is it only okay to scream, shout, yell at your own family? can you do it for any old reason you want?

if somoeone names his or her kid "rain" can they possibly be anything other than a hippie?

Labels: children, confusing, questions