the wrong side of the bed

Sunday, November 12, 2006

no one comments on my blog, perhaps this is why.

i am doing laundry now and i have an exciting laundry related question for my many readers.*

if someone leaves their laundry in a pile on the floor, whether clean or dirty, for more than a day, am i allowed to steal it? even if i don't need or even fit the clothes? what if they leave it in the washer or dryer?

* ha, ha!

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10:03 AM


Yes. This is your constitutional right.
Blogger jeremy, at 12:45 PM  
I agree with jeremy. However, while the constitution protects the stealing of unattended clothes in the laundry room, there is amendment excluding the theft of underwear.
Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:59 PM  
I'd also say go for it. but for some reason I'd say that if it's in the washer or dryer it's not ok. I have no idea why.
Blogger dr alex, at 8:03 AM  
but what if it is in the dryer for more than one day? i mean, apartment only has ome washer and one dryer. if someone else pulls the laundry out so they can use the machines, is it then okay to steal it?
Blogger dorotha, at 8:28 AM  
I disagree with the general consensus here. I think it would be ok to steal it if you were at a laundromat, but not ok in your apartment. Given that the laundry is on the physical premises of the house, I think there is an expectation that stuff won't be stolen--like if a person left their grill on the front porch or something.

And I comment on your blog. Why do you act like I don't exist?
Blogger Gwen, at 1:08 PM  
gwen, i don't know if i agree with you. it is a house with four units, but there are three other similar houses that share the basement laundry room. so there are at least 16 people with access to the basement. most of the time the basement isn't even locked up and even more people could be using it. i wouldn't leave my stuff down there because i don't really know the neighbors in the other houses.
Blogger dorotha, at 1:27 PM  
I wouldn't even leave my detergent in the basement laundry room when I only shared it with the other four units in the same converted house. I say steal the laundry, and ESPECIALLY the underwear, if only to teach the owner that actually, nothing is sacred.

I used to have a small collection of stolen laundry room underwear, in fact. Back in my wild undergrad days.
Blogger Rhymes With Scrabble, at 2:04 PM  
hm. that's a good point, dorotha. yeah, go ahead and steal at will. especially if it doesn't fit. especially if it's underwear. but I say this as someone who never, ever leaves my laundry unattended. unless it's in my own house and I (or my loved ones) am the only one who uses it. now, how do you know when you can trust your roommates not to steal your underwear? hm.
Blogger dr alex, at 9:42 PM  
I am sticking with my argument that it is a breach of basic civility to steal someone's laundry when it is in the basement laundry, regardless of how many people share it. I used to leave clothes in the basement laundry sometimes at my house in Madison, as did others, with the assumption that no one would bother it because we all knew the laundry belonged to one of a small number of people. You could be stealing from someone you've SPOKEN TO or made eye contact with. That, to me, is somehow different from taking clothes left in a purely public place, where the person is likely a complete stranger and has no reason to think their stuff would be left alone.

Also, you'll then have to hide these clothes forever, to be sure someone in the house doesn't see you with them and cause a big fight.
Blogger Gwen, at 10:33 AM  
Also, in addition to the possible negative effects of the owner seeing you take them--if someone other than the owner sees you take them, they'll think you're the jerk who left them there so long. And if they confront you about that, you'd either come up with some lame excuse that would lead them to believe that you were the jerk who left them and are also a liar, or that you're a thief.

My philosophy: the clothes are bad karma--you can move them if necessary to access the washer or dryer, but otherwise I'd say leave them alone.
Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:47 PM  
okay, so we are divided on stealing the clothes. i won't do it.

new question, can i harvest some cat pee and dump that on them? these people deserve some sort of negative consequence for their behavior. this isn't an isolated incidence. i don't care if i might have met the people before because i doubt that i have. even if they are my immediate neighbors, i don't give a whoop. i mean, the people down stairs were hammering and using a drill at 11:30 last night... AGAIN! and the guy right next to me talks loudly on our shared balcony.
Blogger dorotha, at 12:53 PM  
you are making me miss that apartment. i loved that little crappy kitchen, it was so cute even if it was super-small.

i think i would be willing to steal pieces of the laundry (but only if the same pile was left for multiple days, not just one day), but not all of it. just a piece. to try and encourage the laundry-leavers to not leave their laundry. although, it's also possible that because they leave their laundry for as long as they do, they also forget exactly what was *in* the laundry. So who knows if that strategy would even work.

and how very annoying that your neighbor talks loudly on the balcony. ick.

Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:11 PM  
I like the idea of making their laundry dirty. although isn't being dumped on the floor enough? cat pee would work, as would something gritty like sand or cat litter. hair clippings. sugar.
Blogger dr alex, at 3:07 PM  
I'm confused. Why are these clothes such a source of frustration? How are they bothering you? Do they prevent you from doing your laundry? Do you regularly hang out in the basement, so you hate seeing them there? You seem to have a completely unfounded hatred of this pile of clothes. I am unclear why any action is required on your part, or why this person needs to learn a lesson. Pouring cat pee on someone's clothes just because they aren't behaving in the way you would seems a little...extreme.
Blogger Gwen, at 4:24 PM  
Dude, Dorotha: Listen to Gwen. She is obviously the voice of reason around here.
Blogger Sean, at 9:42 PM  
Thank you. I have always thought so.
Blogger Gwen, at 8:53 AM  
Under the privisions of the Abandoned Laundry and Underwear Stealing Act of 2004, you have the right to steal all non-underwear if it has been left sitting for 24 hours; for underwear, you must wait an additional 12 hours, and then you may only use it as a flag or a dustrag.
Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:14 PM  

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