the wrong side of the bed

so, i'm getting pretty good at riding the bus. i haven't had much practice, you know. i would walk to school when i was in school. but now i work to far from home to do that. and getting to my neurologist is kind of a trip, too. today i went to the dentist. i was very friendly with the bus drivers, and i learned a couple of things. the first is that if you are ever held up at gunpoint, you should make sure to look at the robber's* shoes. people might change a shirt or ditch a hat after a robbery, but they are unlikely to change their shoes. the second thing i learned is that some bus drivers will flirt with you. in a universe in which practically no one flirts with me, bus drivers might. i told the driver for the number 9 that i had just been to the dentist. he told me that he noticed a bright aura about me, but hadn't suspected that it was my teeth. he also told me to break up with my boyfriend.

yesterday i learned that, if you are lucky, when your bus breaks down and gets trapped at the south transfer point before it comes to pick you up, there just might be a woman from madison metro driving around (by fluke) who will take to your connecting bus, thus preventing you from totally freaking out when no bus shows up. but i also learned that just because someone from madison metro scares the socks off of you by telling you that they are doing away with the only route that will take you to your work place doesn't mean that they won't replace it with another. whew!

* "robber" sounds so corny. i thought about using "perp" like they do on crime dramas, but that seemed incredibly stupid. what do you call the people who hold you up?

Labels: bus, compliments

some alternatives to robber:

hold-up man
stickup man
heister
heist-guy
heistsmith
brigand
mr. never-changes-shoes
non-vehicular highjacker
scallywag
mecha-tron

I just thought "thief." I'm so uncreative.

Bandit.

I vote heistsmith. That one's awesome. It makes being a thug sound like an artisinal craft.