the wrong side of the bed

i just spoke to a friend of mine on the phone. he always has these "funny" stories that are really quite distressing. this time it was a sort of an only-in-texas, king of the hill type moment. when my friend little dougie's* mom left for bingo, his dad was drinking in the driveway with some neighbors. eventually, little dougie's dad came inside and passed out (not at all uncommon) on the loveseat (more uncommon). he woke up a little while later and half of his body was numb from sleeping funny. in his drunken state, he assumed he was having a stroke. he also couldn't remember his wife's phone number, so he called little dougie's aunt. who then called little dougie's sister. who then, finally, called little dougie's mom at bingo. allegedly, probably suspecting that it was nothing too serious, she refilled her diet coke and headed home**. by then, little dougie's dad was walking out to an ambulance to an audience of (drunken?) neighbors. little dougie's family followed the EMT to the hospital, where, shockingly, little dougie's dad was told that he was just drunk.

at this point in the telling of the story my friend laughed.

* little dougie is obviously a pseudonym. my friend isn't supposed to know that this happened. he heard about it from his little sister. little dougie is worried that somehow his family will find this if i use his real name.

** shortly after it happened, little dougie had a conversation with his mom where she asked him, "little dougie, why am i surrounded by crazy people?" playing dumb, he said, "i don't know, mom."