the wrong side of the bed

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

we're gonna have a good time

yesterday was my birthday. i celebrated with my family and then went to Spider House (a coffee shop) with my friends. a small group of people was supposed to show up, but in the end only henry and carole where there. we had a really good time, though. henry and carole have similar enough mindsets that they blend well together in social situations. this is especially good because they are both starting grad school next year at UT in a library science program. i tried to convince them that grad school is cut throat and that they should try to sabotage each other, but they seemed much more inclined to help than hurt. a mistake if you ask me.

since not very many people showed, we were able to play MASH. do you remember MASH? it is an odd game that one plays during free time in elementary school. you use it to predict the future. we made some adaptations to the game (for example, you can no longer pick your choices for future partner, etc.) and it is way more fun (way!) our way. here are the results:

henry, the lucky bastard, will be living in a house in cleveland with his partner ira glass. they will have one cardboard cut-out baby in lieu of a real child, but as pets they will keep michael jackson's children. henry will ride on the back of the incredible hulk to his job as a draw-bridge operator. sadly, he will be addicted to orchids (as in the movie Adaptation) and he will enjoy looking at elephantitis porn. his only enemy in life will be russel crowe.

carole will live in a mansion in borneo with her partner carmen electra. all of their children have run away, so it wasn't possible to do a head count. she will ride The Great Space Coaster and will work as a grammarian. at night, she will come home to her loving hagfish, simon. she will be addicted to shaved ice and suffer terrible bouts of sentimentality. her only enemy in life (and the afterlife? i think he is dead) will be E.F. Hutton.

brad pitt's niece and i will make a charming life together with our three children. we will live in a mansion in ancient massachuesetts where i will ride an elephant caravan around town and especially to my job as the village dunce. sadly, i will be addicted to chocolate milk and my vice will be eating crackers with mucus (don't knock it till you try it!). my beloved pet soda can will bark fiercely and attack whenver my mortal foe, marie antoinette, enters the yard.

so, now you know my future. it does seem to make grad school unnecessary.
8:48 AM


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