the wrong side of the bed

almost four years ago, my friend jay and i decided to have a contest to befriend katy. okay, so the contest was my idea and i set all the terms, but i have to say that when i won, i really won. i mean, it was great beating jay and all, but the real reward was katy's friendship. we had breakfast together today at marigold's and after she bought me scallions for the small dinner party i am having tonight. not just anyone will buy a girl much needed scallions just because they are friends. so, thanks katy!

while we were eating, i saw another friend of mine. she is a primatologist. of late, i have not much cared to hang out with her because she is so judgemental of my life. she talks a great deal about what i eat and how unhealthy i am. she is always telling me what i should and shouldn't do. true to form, not only did she mention food while we were talking ("after eating here i really can't eat for the rest of the day!"), but she also took me to task for not calling her or our friend lucy ("you really should email lucy. and why don't you ever go to parties at the co-op? you really should."). so, another thanks to katy for not once telling me what i should or shouldn't do during our breakfast together. thanks, katy!

dorotha failed to mention that the reason she had no money was because she bought me a macaroon at twice the price of the scallions. so in addition to the tasty breakfast and dorotha's charming company, i came out ahead financially as well.

there's a lot of love on this blog. i like it!

-anonymous philanthropist

Regarding your primatologist friend, who sounds charming, you might consider signing on to my ongoing Summer Without Should campaign.

jeremy, i am so all about your Summer Without Should campaign! i was gonna link your post about it, but then i got lazy. do i need to sign a membership card or pay a fee?

No, that's the thing, there is nothing you are required, obligated, or encouraged to do to climb aboard the SOS bandwagon. It's an entirely should- and guilt-free membership.

re: Summer w/o Should.

Y'all can have your "Should-Free" movement, as long as it doesn't spread into an anti-'might should' or 'might could' campaign. As in, "Well, I might could fix that air conditioner, but it's gonna cool off again soon enough" or "Think we ought to call so-and-so?", "We might should."

Oh for the day I can convince a major journal to let the almighty "Might Could" slip into an article.

LOL at Brady's comment. One of my students recently took the ACT (some college entrance test--back in my day--or in my state, not sure which--we had the SAT...) and scored some abysmal figure. She commented that on the grammar section, when offered a choice of sentence-completing phrases, "they all sounded right." I responded that, yes, they would, because the test-takers would select phrases that people commonly use. "You just have to know which one is 'right,'" I said, and then, as I allowed that statement to sink into my brain, I added, "god, how fucked-up is that???" Kudos to Sir Edwin Loopysus and everyone else who has brought me to this point. To appreciate the magnitude of my personal transformation, you need to know the shameful fact that I once corrected grammar on signs and posters, and considered "incorrect" written grammar as a sign of possible (perhaps probable) stupidity.

I asked Dorotha if I could post this as a comment even though it got so long. She said yes.

i once made two people fill out 5-page applications to be my friend...they got very competitive about it, and even completed the question that was: **Please re-write the words to Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" so that it is actually an ode to me.**

I still can't believe they actually did it! Hooray for good friends!