the wrong side of the bed

i am not a hottie. i'm not trying to fish for compliments or even reassurances, that isn't what this post is about. it is about the insane levels of annoyance and hatred* that i feel when men scream shit out of car windows at me. who are you to yell at me? this morning on my walk with carey and lisa, some guy yelled out of his van window something to the effect of, "if this were a race, you ladies would be winning it!" now, lisa and carey maybe be able to work it, but i am fat and pigeon-toed. my only physical charm in this world is that i dress in such a way as to look like a comic book character - think of a chubbier enid coleslaw. on my early morning walks i just look sweaty and gross. no offense to lisa and carey, but we all look sort of sweaty and gross. it isn't really about being attractive, i guess, which makes it all the more irritating. why do some men think they can just yell shit at me? well, i guess there is some base level yelling that all women get, and then more is heaped on top for the big-breasted among us. i know more attractive women get yelled at more than i do. i can't imagine what it is like to be some skinny undergrad walking down the street with all of the frat houses. how are more of my women students not filled with the same rage and righteous indignation that i am?

* okay, once i was amused rather than irritated by something a man said to me on the street. i was walking in NYC and a homeless man said quite cheerfully to me, "happy presidents' day! can i smell your pussy?" it was, in fact, presidents' day, but if it is not, do you suppose he says, "happy tuesday" or something like that instead? i couldn't help but laugh.

I have often wondered the same thing - why are other men yelling things to women as they pass by? Have they ever been successful seducing women this way? Has any woman said that they met their husband when he yelled out the car window that she had nice tits? I don't think so.
-M.P. Idaho

1) They're bored. 2) They're horny. 3) They think you would be flattered. 3) They're misguided.

sorry, anonymous, but that seems to simple. especially the misguided part. i mean, i have been bored and - i hate this word - horny before and i have engaged in some pretty strange forms of flirtation, but i have never yelled, "nice ass!" or "let me see your package!" out of the window of a car. i don't think it is a question of being misguided, either. i mean, if they even thought for a second that screaming something out of the window of a car would result in a sexual encounter or a cup of coffee, why would they continue to drive by?

You know, I have a friend who was told, "You're so pretty... you're just like superman."

Wha?

I sympathize, dorotha, but if it makes you feel better I've been offered sexual favors by homeless men in parks, by an Ecuadoran man on public transport, and was propositioned for gay sex while in bed with an ex-girlfriend.

What can I say? I'm popular.

wow, drek, that's quite a list, but you have got to acknowledge that it happens to women more.

um... and as far as weird come ons from drunk people go, a few weeks ago a man said to me, "you've got an amazing smile, baby. can i look at your teeth?"

you have got to acknowledge that it happens to women more.Oh, certainly. I wasn't implying anything to the contrary. I just thought you might enjoy knowing that you're in... um... "good" company.