the wrong side of the bed

i really hate my life right now. interestingly, and unusually for me, this isn't accompanied by huge amounts of self-loathing. oh, don't get me wrong, i totally hate myself. i just hate myself at my baseline level. but my life? ah. that is truly where i should focus my ire.

i guess i am a little tired of fucking up. this morning, for example, i was supposed to take careyoke to the bus station. i slept through two alarms and she had to call me ten minutes prior to her departure time. careyoke ran the six blocks to my car (i only had to run three) trailing her luggage behind her. when we got to my car, she said, "all i can say is, you better have had a good time last night."

but, i didn't. i had a really dull time. a really fucking boring evening of watching stoners get stoned. yep. and now i am tired for no fucking worthwhile reason. i am done with my crush on my stoner. how wrong is it to think that i deserve a smart, funny, neurotic partner with glasses? my friends say that i am too picky, and it is sort of true that i almost never have crushes on anyone. i mean, you have to be pretty smart, funny, and neurotic to impress me. but, i am about to get pickier. no stoners. i don't care if you like comic books. i don't care if you have the same politics as me. i don't care if you have pretty brown eyes. i need to be fucking entertained.

whatever. see, i could turn this inward and say that i am the one who sucks. i mean, it has been forever since anyone has liked me. years. i'm annoying and hateful. these things are kind of negative. but, goddamnit, i will keep you fucking entertained. i will probably even cook for you and buy you toys.

where is old ben kenobe when you need him.

have you ever considered meeting people online? I tried match.com once and while I didn't meet anyone directly through it, it indirectly hooked me up with Jeff. It was also good for a lot of laughs.
Stamie

all obi-wan's going to do is tell you to go to yoda. it's yoda you want. Y-O-D-A, yoda. yo-yo-yo-yo yoda.
i'm sorry you're feeling down. if it's any consolation, i hold you in high esteem. i don't say this often. in fact, i've never actually said this (just typed it), but i seriously think you could beat up darth maul. that guy ain't got no class. you, however, got the class. heads up: darth maul is actually darth maula, chewbacca's wife. don't let that soften your sabre strikes. the wookie wife must die. it is your destiny.
-anonymous philanthropist

anonymous p -

holy crap, do i ever love you! thanks. that cheered me right up. darth maul is one mean motherfucker. i am honored that you think i could take him.

i will consult yoda immediately about my situation.

dorrie

aww, hugs for dorrie. that sucks, but it'll all be okay. really it will. as harsh as it sounds, at least it was just a crush. do you *really* need to hear more stories about my lyin', cheatin', theivin' pot-monkey former fiance? yeah, "no stoners" is now at the top of my list, too. if you want to change your list, we can have girls night this weekend and i'll bust out _Are You the One for Me_ by Dr Barbara DeAngelis. hmm, where would "no stoners" go? Social Style? Spititual Style? Interests and Hobbies?