the wrong side of the bed

Sunday, October 24, 2004

there's a monkey in the basement. how did the monkey get there?

it is funny to think about having a plan for one's life. are there particular things i should accomplish? are there any things that i want to accomplish? i'm not sure. i know there are some things that scare the shit out of me and/or don't interest me at all. like having children. what do you do with the little buggers? they need so much. plus, it is hard to guess what they need when they can't yet speak. i prefer things that can talk. i try to have plants, but even that scares me a bit. when do i water them? why can't they just tell me? of course, being able to speak doesn't mean that you can actually say anything. take me, for example. not only do i never know what is coming out of my mouth, i am terrified by the things that do, and i still don't say what i want to. or else everything i mean is mixed in with the things i don't.

i sleep with a stuffed animal. i know, juvenille, right? but i am barely 13! besides, he is someone to talk to. when i was a kid, i had a care bear that i loved dearly. Grumpy, of course. my mother used to tell me to talk to Grumpy about my problems when i couldn't sleep. i think my problems when i was a child pretty much boiled down to Nobody Likes Me. are my problems worse now? i was just talking to sir eddie p about whether or not my strengths were being put to their best use in grad school. sometimes i want to run the hell away from here. sir eddie summed up the problem this way, "i think madison is a big downer."

i spent a lot of time in bed this morning with my stuffed beetle, cecil. cecil is awesome. he has beautiful orange wings, a green body, and purple limbs. plus, his eyes are tiny, squinty things, much like my own. i think we are just enough alike, because of this, that cecil and i can really relate. yet, i didn't really talk to him this morning. what should i say? where should i start? can you handle it, cecil?
3:36 PM


Cecil can handle it. Stuffed beetles are built that way.

By the way, don't you think the monkey came in with the elephant? That one over there, in the corner! Boy, and you were worried about a monkey.

(My whimsy not meant to be derogatory...)
Blogger Ron Southern, at 12:32 PM  

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