the wrong side of the bed

i've been thinking since friday that i may have been a bit hasty in my decision not to have children. well, that isn't fair exactly. i have always said that if i accidently acquired a child or children, i would go ahead and keep it/them and raise it/them as my own. i mean, it might be my own, so why not treat it that way?

i think that i might actually be willing to go out of my way to have children. yeah, you heard me. i realized on friday that i like kids a lot. they are funny and dumb and i bet they would make me laugh and i could hug them. sure, i'd have to clean up puke, but maybe that isn't so bad. i dunno.

it is just that i have always liked being around kids and i really dig toys, kids' music, and playing. i think, as moms go, i wouldn't be boring. i mean, the kid(s) would have a shitload to tell his/her/their therapist(s). from someone who has seen that side of the couch, i gotta tell you, shrinks eat that shit up! well. i guess. my parents weren't all that bad, truth be told.

i do and have worried that i would be a mess as a parent because i am so frickin' neurotic. i mean, just from a genetic standpoint, anything i produce is probably gonna need meds beginning in the K-5 years. on the other hand, my parents are pretty nuts and i haven't offed myself yet. so, maybe the harried genes don't totally suck. maybe. that's all i'm saying.