the wrong side of the bed

my mom and i were discussing the friend that i mentioned in the previous post. i was telling her how weird it is that this friend seems, at least on her blog, to be a happy person. is it awful that part of me is disappointed by this? she was always so unhappy seeming. all of the good parts seem to have eclipsed all of the bad. her blog persona seems so excited about life. she always was excited by some things. really, truly enthusiastic. we used to make going to the hardware store into an adventure. we played imagination games when we were in high school. all of these fun parts of her are still there, but the part of her that i had to drag out of her apartment when she couldn't bring herself to face the world seems to be gone. why am i still the same?

my mom was telling me i should be glad that my friend seems to be doing better. i am, but i feel betrayed. this isn't the person i knew. my mom told me that i had changed to. have i? i don't think so. mom thought i was happier, i told her that i am pretty sad. mom tried to convince me that she is happier, i told her that i thought she was sad.

why is everyone i know so sad? and why aren't they sad enough?

Everyone? That's a big leap from some random chick in high school and your mom.

if everyone you know is sad then obviously you are the cause. simple deductive reasoning! why didn't you call me when you were in town. no doubt you were too busy showering Henry and your family with attention, how neglectful of me you are. oh, see, there you are making me sad.

love,
joe