the wrong side of the bed

one reader was confused by my last post. that is understandable. i didn't provide any context along with the lyrics to the partridge family theme song. here is the story:

i've been very sad lately. very sad. for about three weeks. lots of friends moving, lots of feelings of insecurity, huge amounts of self-loathing, and then the prelim. which i failed. the prelim isn't what made me so sad, it just added to it. i ordered the lu ann platter of depression, and failing the prelim was the overcooked broccoli on the side.

anyway, a friend called me as i was walking across the Group Health Cooperative parking lot on my way to see the woman who prescribes my meds. we got in a fight, so i showed up to the appointment sobbing. suddenly, all of my prescriptions were increased! she said i may feel out of it for a while; i wanted to ask for a soma vacation.

posting the "c'mon get happy!" lyrics was more of a command to myself.

anyway, i am doing better now. um, but toys do cheer me up. and i just made room for more playmobil.

I am currently going with a policy of keeping myself so busy I have no time to stop and question whether I'm happy or not. I am trying not to let myself have even a moment of thinking time during the day. Should I find myself starting to think, I quickly put in a dumb movie or try a new eye-shadow technique. It's working pretty well so far. I hope to keep this up until I can get a job somewhere else. So a year, at least.