the wrong side of the bed

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

songs about busses

i am afraid of the bus. i don't like pulling the cord. i don't like getting on. i don't like picking a seat. i don't like deciding which door to leave through. people think riding the bus is easy. they don't understand. i am afraid of the bus. in a big way. i feel stressed right now just thinking about the bus.

i have asked jon to help me learn to ride the bus from my apartment to the psych building. i just want to know how to do this one thing. he doesn't understand why it is so difficult. jon does not have a panic disorder. he doesn't understand why i need him to help me.

i know you hate it when i post song lyrics. i am doing it anyway. which of these songs, do you think, will be most like my bus riding experience? you know, should i ever actually get on the bus.

Another One Rides The Bus - Weird Al Yankovic

Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard,
And the place was pretty packed.
Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand,
With the perverts in the back.
It was smellin' like a locker room.
There was junk all over the floor.
We're already packed in like sardines,
But we're stoppin' to pick up more.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus.
Hey!
He's gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs.
There's an elbow in my ear.
There's a smelly old bum standin' next to me.
Hasn't showered in a year.
Well, I think I'm missin' a contact lens.
I think my wallet's gone.
And I think this bus is stoppin' again,
To let a couple more freaks get on.
Look out!

chorus

The window doesn't open, and the fan is broke,
And my face is turnin' blue.
I haven't been in a crowd like this
Since I went to see The Who.
Well, I should'a got off a couple miles ago,
But I couldn't get to the door.
There isn't any room for me to breathe.
Now we're gonna pick up more, yeah!

chorus



Bus To Beelzebub - Soul Coughing

Get on to the bus,
That's gonna take you back to Beelzebub,
Get on to the bus,
That's gonna make you stop going rub a dub,

Your words burn the air,
Like the names of candy bars,
Your mouth is cold and red,
All in rings around your,
Laugh laughing laughs,

It's a grind grind,
It's a grind,
It's a grind grind,

I'll scratch you raw,
L'etat c'est moi,
I drink the drink,
And I'm wall to wall,
I absorb trust like a love rhombus,
I feel I must elucidate,
I ate the chump with guile,
Quadrilateral I was,
Now I warp like a smile,

Yellow no. 5,
Yellow no. 5, 5, 5,

Voulez-vous the bus?


Hell Greyhound Bus Ride - Wesley Willis

It's Wednesday, April 2, 1997, at 12:00 PM
I took a Greyhound bus to Des Moines, Iowa
It was a six-hour profanity demon hellride
At 6:00 PM, the Greyhound bus arrived at the Des Moines bus station
Two of my music fans picked me up and drove me to Fort Dodge, Iowa

Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride
Hell Greyhound bus ride

At 2:00 PM on Friday, April 4, 1997, I went on a radio show joyride
I whipped out my Technics KN3000 keyboard and sung four rock songs on 88.1 KICB
At 6:30 PM, I rode with my friends to Knights of Columbus for sound checking
At 9:30 PM, I got up on stage and sung twenty rock songs in front of 200 rock fans

chorus

At 11:20 AM on Saturday, April 5, 1997, I caught the Greyhound bus to Chicago, Illinois
The Greyhound bus left Des Moines, Iowa at 11:30 AM
It was an eight-hour profanity demon hellride without music
At 7:30 PM, the Greyhound bus arrived at the Chicago bus station
I then got off the intercity bus and yelled like a stupid fool

chorus

Kinkos, it's the new way to office


Wheels On The Bus

The wheels on the bus go round and round,
round and round,
round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
all through the town.

The wipers on the bus go Swish, swish, swish;
Swish, swish, swish;
Swish, swish, swish.
The wipers on the bus go Swish, swish, swish,
all through the town.

The horn on the bus goes Beep, beep, beep;
Beep, beep, beep;
Beep, beep, beep.
The horn on the bus goes Beep, beep, beep,
all through the town..

The money on the bus goes, Clink, clink, clink;
Clink, clink, clink;
Clink, clink, clink.
The money on the bus goes, Clink, clink, clink,
all through the town.

The Driver on the bus says "Move on back,
move on back, move on back;"
The Driver on the bus says "Move on back",
all through the town.

The baby on the bus says "Wah, wah, wah;
Wah, wah, wah;
Wah, wah, wah".
The baby on the bus says "Wah, wah, wah",
all through the town.

The mommy on the bus says "Shush, shush, shush;
Shush, shush, shush;
Shush, shush, shush."
The mommy on the bus says "Shush, shush, shush"
all through the town.
10:24 AM

8 Comments:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:25 PM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:34 PM  
Dorotha on the bus says "Crap crap crap;
Yick, ick, sick;
Ugh!, Aah!, Eek!;
Dorotha on the bus says "Get me the fuck out of here."
all through the town.
Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:13 PM  
I too am afraid of the bus. The bus is scary. Panic disorder or no.
Blogger Constance, at 3:15 PM  
I'm sure you both think you are freaks for being afraid of the bus.

You are.

It's ok though; I still got love for you guys.

...freaks.
Blogger the jeff, at 6:26 PM  
I road a bus and trolley for five years to get to work. Public transportation is a great way to get around. Just relax and enjoy the trip. Read the paper or a book. You will also find if you take the same bus everyday you will get to know other people who are on there daily. Make friends and enjoy. If by chance Sandra Bullock is driving. Jump off, jump off quick!!!! Don't wait for it to slow don.
Blogger Groucho, at 10:35 PM  
On the bus, that's where you'll find me.
Love, Belle
Blogger Belle Reve, at 12:17 PM  
"Kiss Me On the Bus" by The Replacements

On the bus, that's where we're ridin'
On the bus, O.K., don't say hi, then
Your tongue, your transfer,
your hand, your answer

On the bus, everyone's lookin' forward
On the bus, I am lookin' forward
And everything ain't O.K.
I might die before Monday
They're all watchin' us

Kiss me on the bus
Kiss me on the bus
If you knew how I felt now
You wouldn't act so adult now
Hurry, hurry, here comes my stop

On the bus, watch our reflection
On the bus, I can't stand no rejection
C'mon, let's make a scene
Oh, baby, don't be so mean
They're all watchin' us
Kiss me on the bus
Kiss me on the bus
If you knew how I felt now
You wouldn't act so adult now
Hurry, hurry, here comes my stop

If you knew how I felt now
You wouldn't act so adult now
They're all watchin' us
Kiss me on the bus
Kiss me on the bus
Kiss me on the bus
Kiss me on the bus
Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:29 PM  

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