the wrong side of the bed

remember me? i am training to be a sociologist. why? because human behavior is beyond inexplicable* to me. when i was an undergrad i seriously thought that sociology might help me understand people better, and that maybe i'd be able to navigate the world better. well, 200 million years of training later, i have to say, people are still fucking with my head. i don't get it.

don't suggest psychology. i pretty much hate psychology.

anyway, if you get a chance the next time we are hanging out, could you please explain all of your actions to me? seriously, at every step. "dorotha," you might say, "i am choosing the chair opposite of you rather than next to you so that we don't accidently touch each other, which would violate my understanding of rules of intimacy. also, it allows me to sit in such a way that i don't keep looking at the spot on your face where you have picked until there is a scab. that's just gross. plus, it reminds me of my acne filled high school years. no offense."

"none taken." i would reply.

* do you know how hard it was for me to spell "inexplicable"? i think i am still trying to do it.

Come see me in my costume; I'm Bridget Bourdieu!

This seems a bit unfair. You say that you don't understand people, and then expect them to understand themselves well enough to be able to explain to you stuff you don't get. Why on earth would I have any better understanding of human behavior and why I do things than you do?

Nope. You can't expect other sociologists to have any better skills of human interpretation than you do.