the wrong side of the bed

Sunday, January 01, 2006

all i see are all my failings

jeff lewis tells it like it is.

anxiety attack

i lay down every night but i can't get no rest
cuz it starts spinning in my brain
& then it's pounding in my chest
what if i wasted all my youth
what if i wasted my growing up
what if wasted my whole life
oh man i feel like throwing up
its an anxiety attack, an anxiety attack
i've got bad case of the horrors
& at night, it comes back
first i look back at my week
& then i look back at my year
then i'm terrified to speak
then i'm paralized with fear
i'm tossing & i'm turning
and i'm going 'round the bend
all i see are all my failings
downward spirals without end
then i see horror in the future
then i see horror in the past
then it's 4am, 5am, 6am at last
cuz what if i never feel grown up
then die in a car accident
& what if i go crazy
& what if this time it's permanent
& what if i go broke
& have to move back with my parents
& then what if i got a cancer
& i ain't got no inssurance
all my days are moving faster
& it's making me feel dizzy
how come i get nothing done
but always feel so busy
& i used to feel so smart
you know i used to feel so strong
but this just can't be how to live
i must be doing something wrong
because everything i might do feels
like something else i can't
then another day is gone
& i just don't know where it went
i try not to hang out too much
try not to watch too much television
but still everything i do
seems to be the wrong decision
i lay down every night but still i can't get no rest
cuz it starts spinning in my brain
& then it's pounding in my chest
its an anxiety attack, an anxiety attack
i've got bad case of the horrors
& at night, it comes back
11:35 AM

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