the wrong side of the bed

i am having a hard time with my life. it is going no where. i am angry and grumpy with myself because i lack motivation. the thing i am best at in the world is being judgemental. what can i do with this skill? is this marketable? could i be the next judge judy? here's hoping.

in other news, i am having trouble communicating. my boyfriend* seems not to understand my need to have positive affirmations about our relationship. hmmm. i dunno. many of you know that i have trouble maintaining friendships. i am feeling this very much lately. the people i talk to most are jon, connie, sean and belle. connie is out of town at an interview and jon scored a 9 on the empathy test. belle and i seem to have out of sync schedules. sean is in new york. i go crazy when i have no one to talk to. i hate being left to my own brain. it isn't always pretty in my head.

jeremy wrote a story about a woman seeing a life coach. i am sure that he was thinking of me when he wrote it. in truth, this could be benefitial for me. will you be my life coach? or, even better, could someone else just be in charge of my life? i hate being left to do these things on my own.

* i guess he is my boyfriend. there has been nothing formal decided. we don't talk about our "relationship" - except sometimes through puppets.