the wrong side of the bed

i was out of town this weekend for my uncle's wedding. my grandparents, who are quite unlikable, have chosen him as their favorite. my father, who you might think had done everything right is their least favorite. interestingly, you wouldn't have thought that my grandmother gave a flying flip that jeff got married. if you can't muster much emotion for your favorite son's wedding, i wonder how it would have been at my father's. was grandmother even in attendance? did she spend the whole time catching up on sleep?

my mother's family was probably happy and excited. they are a friendly lot. they don't do anything right and they don't even know that they are doing things wrong. my dad's family, on the other hand, is tightly wound. we are all on a spiderweb of my grandmother's weaving. any misstep triggers a vibration that alerts her to her prey. we are done for. always. she bites and we become a little more paralyzed with each attack.

my uncle must be nearly fifty. this is is first marriage. my aunt has no intention of marrying. my grandparents have scared it out of her. there is no love in that family. i think whatever there might have been died with my uncle charlie in the mid 1960's. being around my father's family is depressing.

this picture is of the harried boys. my father is twelve years older than jeff. he didn't make a toast at the rehersal dinner when all of jeff's friends were toasting. my father later said that so many people had already spoken that he didn't think his toast was necessary. i said that i guessed that, based on what people were saying about jeff, that i must not really know him. kind, helpful, full of integrity, and honest. these are not the traits i would have listed. but, i don't know jeff well. my dad said that he doesn't either.