the wrong side of the bed

as you all know, i am kind of a nutjob. yeah, crazy, but not like a fox. maybe i'm crazy like, i don't know, a possum. and possums make me want to puke. but, i don't want to be like this forever, despite my resistance to change, so i have been taking gobs of meds and going to therapy left and right.

i am currently doing group therapy. for tomorrow, i am supposed to come up with three affirmations. corny as hell, right? supposedly it works. the problem for me is that i am really negative, so the affirmations have to have a ring of truth even for me. this is hard, given that i am such a cynic and i am full of self loathing. what to do? can you all help me come up with some positive affirmations about myself that i can say without immediately thinking of counter examples?

so far i have:

i can generally drink liquids without them going down my windpipe
i am able to match my clothes nicely

i don't know, i think i am supposed to be using a particular form for my affirmations (according to the therapist who leads my group), but i can't remember the structure. i think it might be "i am" statements. i think they are supposed to be things like "i am calm." but, see, i'm not calm. i know that i am supposed to read those and then sort of become them, but all i do when i see a statement like that is think about how NOT CALM i am.

so, can you give me suggestions?

(the possum above is playing dead. good strategy?)

How about:

I am loved by many people who have very good taste and high standards, which indicates that there are many good things about me, whether I see them or not.

Does that work?

I second Gwen's idea. Also, it is definitely true that you are a good matcher. A third idea: "I am creative." A fourth idea: "I am fun." A fifth idea: "I am supportive of my friends." A sixth idea...Jeesh, I could just keep going and going.

I am funny as all hell, how's that? I am excellent at laughing, how 'bout that one?

and btw, I third Gwen's and second Careyoke's suggestions...! :)

Stamie

Several of mine have already been suggested and better articulated to boot. So I guess that means I fourth them.
Here's one. You could say:

"I am successful at many things."

You can't disagree with it. People won't realize all you really mean is you think you are able to succeed at drinking water properly and match clothes well. They'll assume you mean something more. Ta da! Honesty prevails.

How about "I know the difference between monkeys and apes"?

What I really mean to say is that you could affirm that you are intelligent in multiple ways, that you have a sharp mind for both the social and natural sciences, as well as art. That's pretty awesome.

Also you could affirm that you are an extraordinarily caring sister and daughter. I mean, you're not my sister or daughter, but I can tell you're a really good one.

I am in possession of cute, tiny ears... and my hair is shiny.

How about: I write a blog that helps people through the day? I'm not kidding. And my days are pretty decent.

TDEC - I don't really know who you are, but I am glad to have you as a reader of my blog.

RWS - I really do like your haircut! What's wrong with it? I must be weird because I really think it is cute.

Constance - Thank you for noticing.

AK - I do love my family a great deal, both my nuclear family and my larger genetic family.

The rest of you are very sweet, too, although your affirmations are too broad for me to adopt right now. Well, except for Henry's very sly way of having one of my affirmations really mean that I can drink without choking. Sean says I like that one b/c it is cheating.

see it's just like in it's a wonderful life where jimmy stewart realizes he has lots of things to live for.

how about:
my mental illness has created a fun personality that other people enjoy, and the distorted lens of mental illness gives a certain kind of insight that is sometimes a useful coping mechanism, although most often not. or maybe:
i am mentally ill for the sake of others who are less fortunate and who would be slightly crazier were i not taking up the burden of being the crazier one.
or you could just say:
i am dorotha, obey my rules.
-signed, joe (mentally ill)