the wrong side of the bed

i'm going to an award/appreciation breakfast this morning and i am scared. i'm scared for two reasons: 1) i was nominated for an award. what if i win? i will feel bad about myself all day long because i will feel myself undeserving. 2) i'm going to the breakfast alone. i will have to make small talk with people i don't know. i am amazingly bad at this. i will inevitably tell someone something that most people wouldn't say to a stranger. for example, i can't shut up about my epilepsy. i can't shut up about being nudged from the program. i will probably also tell someone that my grandfather is about to die. i might also go on a rant about the class privelege that allows all of us volunteers* to have the opportunity to even volunteer to begin with.

* the award/appreciation breakfast is for community volunteers. a woman from the girl scout council nominated me.**

** i am also constantly afraid that someone will look at me and decide i shouldn't be around impressionable girls. why did i paint my nails black yesterday? this will surely cause someone to think, "she's giving the girls drugs!"***

*** i worry to much.

good luck! not so much with winning but that it goes well and you have a good time and people act cool.

As I type, you are there.
See you once you're here.
You can always talk small-ly to me