the wrong side of the bed

Sunday, May 21, 2006

like lovers do

i feel like shit today. i feel very ugly. i feel dull. i don't like the things around me.

i was thinking earlier today that every time someone breaks up with me, or even when i break up with them, i am convinced it is because i am not good enough. i think this is likely because the first person i dated stressed the "i love you, but i am not in love with you" thing an awful lot*. when he told me we couldn't date anymore, he said, "you are the best thing by far that has happened to me this year, but it just isn't enough."

* he was also the first person that i'd ever kissed and the first person i ever fooled around with. when i drove him to work the next morning, he said, "i feel dirty. do you feel dirty?" i didn't, actually.
6:27 PM


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