the wrong side of the bed

Monday, November 06, 2006

i know, i know

you are tired of hearing about it. i can't shut up. this is obviously something that has affected me deeply. i always seem to have a new thing to worry about - car insurance, memory problems, my current slide into depression. and i am not even sure, aside from the car insurance, if these things are related.

however,

since it is national epilepsy awareness month, i feel justified in writing about this: my memory problem is getting quite bad. i feel like i am losing my mind. i have been on medications before (effexor? celexa?) which caused verbal memory problems when i first starting taking them. i feel like i am having the same problems now. i am also having trouble remembering things that happened reccently. i can't remember things that are quite "big" memories. not suprisingly, i can't remember names. i think i never could remember names. i used to remember events, though. now i forget bands that i have seen, movies i have watched, places that i have been. i ask jon if we can rent movies that we watched a month ago because i think i have never seen them. i can remember things well that happened before. i feel like i can remember every single day of high school. i remember much that i learned in college. i am losing a lot that i learned in grad school. i can't remember if i have read certain books before. i look at my shelves and wonder if i have bought a book that i intended to read or if it is actually a book that i have read. does my problem have to do with the fact that i was having an increasing number of seizures in the last few years? i was having 20 a month before i went on medication. does it have to do with medication? anti-depressants and anti-seizure medications both affect memory. how can i remember stuff? i was going to try to write down things that happened to me at the end of everyday, but i am not very disciplined. i tend to write things down in numerous places. a system would likely help. one problem, though, is reading what i wrote and getting it to stick in my brain. i need to work on this.

jeremy, i told you i couldn't learn. is it true? i know you read books about procrastination (i actually remember this), but can you suggest a book on memory?

Labels: ,

7:05 AM

1 Comments:

geez, that's scary. maybe it's early onset alzheimer's! just kidding! this is the dangerous thing about being on drugs, that you can never be sure if what's going on is just a side effect. like it's fucked up that some anti-depressants can make some people more suicidal and stuff like that. the great thing about memory loss is that everything remains new and fresh, nothing goes stale. look on the bright side. (i have alzheimer's in my family so that makes these jokes okay.)

also, have you seen the movie Memento, or do you remember?

ps. in regard to a more recent post. people comment on your blog a lot more than they do on mine, so feel good about that. granted i just go on and on about the same stuff all the time like what to do with time and complaining and stuff.

pss. i started reading the perks of being a wallflower and i find myself saying things like a 15-year old like using the word "stuff" all the time.
Anonymous joe, at 9:18 AM  

Post a Comment