the wrong side of the bed

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

i am no good at my job

my job requires skills that i am just not good at. organization and meeting deadlines. i should think of these as challenges, i suppose, but instead i really just feel like a failure everyday. i feel worse than i did as a grad student. grad school was difficult, but in a different way. with grad school things were painful because i was fucking up my life. if i failed, it hurt me. grad school is a selfish endeavor. in this job i am failing at so many things. i am always behind and more things just pile up. i can't seem to get organized. i can't catch up. the job is not fun or rewarding. i am not pulling my weight. i am not meeting the goals for the organization.

i wasn't at work yesterday. i am scared to check my voicemail and emails. i don't want to know how i have fucked up yet again.

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8:27 AM

4 Comments:

Office jobs are really hard. It takes a lot of practice and effort to get good at being organized and meeting deadlines. You'll get better at it with time. And you'll get better at hiding your mistakes and correcting them faster. My first year working as an "executive assistant" was a total wreck, but eventually I got it together.
Blogger AK, at 9:15 AM  
And you will, too. Just stick with it and don't get discouraged.
Blogger AK, at 9:16 AM  
Yeah, it takes a while to go from being a grad student, who basically could set her own schedule, to having a job where things have to be done at a certain time in a certain way.

But I have great faith in you, Dorotha. Truly infinite amounts of faith.
Blogger Gwen, at 5:47 PM  
I second Abby and Gwen's sentiments. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Blogger careyoke, at 7:11 PM  

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