the wrong side of the bed

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

still in love?

no, not so much. i feel sort of anxious-sick. work is stressful lately. my team is not living up to the goals, objectives, indicators, and whatnot. makes it hard to be happy. i come into work singing, but at the end of the day i am always scowling. too many meetings and too many other responsibilities. i'm not entirely sure what people in offices do with this. how do you get rid of that horrible feeling of not caring that much about your job but being expected to care about your job and it is your job so you better fucking do it?

so, yeah, i'm not in love anymore. i was pretty hyper and peppy this weekend, but that's kind of done for the week. i'm tired and down. i mean, i washed dishes and i am doing laundry, so that is sort of like being productive, but i really don't feel like doing anything else. i could probably bring myself to sew something.

i don't know. give me something else to be in love with. i think i am going to get rid of a plant, so don't ask me to love a plant. it is dying so i am going to give it to jon. not because i am going to be all like "here's a dead plant, fuck face!" more like, "dude, i can't take care of this, maybe you can since you seem to suddenly enjoy plants". so, give me something else to love. i don't want a mammal either.

i do still like my future roommate. i think. but i just like her, i don't like like her.

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6:42 PM


You may not love love me, but you do love me. And I love you.

So there's always that.

And giant plush microbes. They always make me happy.

But generally I've found that loving imaginary characters--people on TV, in bands I like, etc.--is a much less disappointing endeavor than trying to love *actual people*. You might try that.
Blogger Gwen, at 11:04 PM  
I second Gwen -- fall in love with TV characters and bands. And book characters and good comedians. And NPR personalities. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about all my pop culture crushes. (Remember falling in love with the Mountain Goats in Olympia? That's *love*.)

Of course, I'm pretty fond of my "real" friends even if I sorta hate humans in general. And you know I love you, because why on earth else would I have ever visited Wisconsin?

Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:46 PM  
i guess i don't mean that i am not in love with things/people because i am not in love with them anymore. i guess i mean that i never was. i was just happy . you know, like you feel good so everything is better. when you are pissy and angry, everything loses its charm. meh.
Blogger dorotha, at 7:35 AM  

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