the wrong side of the bed

a former acquaintance said of my ex-boyfriend sean that he was an enjoyer. this was after we ate together and she noticed that he was humming while he ate. sean is an enjoyer. he especially loves eating yummy foods. it is fortunate for him that he is now dating a chef. i don't totally suck in the kitchen, but i don't really try to make special meals nor do i always pay attention to whether or not things are burning. i think his girlfriend is a good match for him.

if sean is an enjoyer, then what am i? rather than feeding me, people seem pretty intent on giving me presents. have any of you ever been in my house? have you seen how many toys i have? am i a hoarder? is that what i am? am i a collector? can people tell this when they meet me? why do they humor me? i don't even have room for more toys, but three people have already asked me what new playmobil i "need" for christmas.

because you care, i am listing things i have collected at various points in my life.

turtles
stuffed animals
wrapping paper
origami paper
baby name books
ugly neckties
found paper clips
eggplants (not actual eggplants, though i do enjoy eating them)
strange lamps
stationery
stickers (okay, this is pretty much an ongoing obsession)
notebooks
socks
comic books
old cookbooks
lenticular things
playmobil

please, if you can, try not to get me these things. i know you all want to. my sister has told me that it is fun to get me toys and other wacky things because i light up with joy when i open the packages. i always get more christmas and birthday presents than anyone in my family with the exception of my nephew (but only for the past 7 years). toys are awesome. they are really, really awesome. i know. shiny things are great. i bought myself something lenticular just today. i get it. my obsessions rock. but, please, just think before you give me anything. i might also need non-perishable foods. i could use a new bottle face lotion (neutrogena face lotion for combination skin, please). i'm getting too fat for most of my pants. i'd like a sewing machine so i can return the one i am borrowing. i love pickles.

Labels: sean, toys

but they wouldn't stop showing it!


last night when i got back from a really dull meeting in cambridge, wisconsin, i decided to veg out with some TV. there was nothing on except for one tree hill. i decided to watch madonna's special: confessions on a dance floor.

A+ will be happy to know that, at least in my opinion, her singing was as bad as normal. plus, she has decided to move down an octave. okay, whatever. anyway, the weird part to me was, while they really focused on her dancing rather than her singing in the video/concert, they really, really focused on her bum. and her crotch.




rather than sing along, they seemed to want us to masturbate along. rather than being cuter and younger than i ever was, she is older and hotter than i ever have been. good work madonna, i suppose. still, i think i would rather be remembered for something other than my bum.



* ass

Labels: fucked up, icky sex, tv

today is mix it up day (in the US and canada, possibly the UK), which is part of national bullying awareness week (in canada). the NEA suggests that bullying week already happened, but that is so united statesian of them. as i have mentioned, this is also national epilepsy awareness month. until december 1st, you should also be aware of adoption, alzheimer's disease, caregivers, diabetes, family caregivers, marrow, and recycling. i'm sure there are more things to be aware of, too, but i am not going to look for any more lists.


i'm about to write about something that people are not going to like. last month was national breast cancer awareness month. the thing about breast cancer is that people are pretty aware of it because of huge media campaigns, which is great, but there are some things about it that seem unsavory to me. like using breast cancer as a selling point for your expensive watch or t-shirt. i'm glad these organizations give money for breast cancer research, etc., but why do we have to buy their products for this to happen? look at this website. obviously, i hardly know what i am talking about. these people could be wackos, but there are some interesting things to think about. for example, why should i eat a bunch of yoplait when i don't really like yoplait? i tend to buy expensive hippie yogurt. maybe i should just give some money. after all, according to think before you pink, "A woman would have to eat three containers of Yoplait every day during the four-month campaign to raise $36 for the cause."

Labels: complaining, epilepsy

i am doing laundry now and i have an exciting laundry related question for my many readers.*

if someone leaves their laundry in a pile on the floor, whether clean or dirty, for more than a day, am i allowed to steal it? even if i don't need or even fit the clothes? what if they leave it in the washer or dryer?

* ha, ha!

Labels: complaining, gross, questions

henry stumbled upon this blog: wrongsideofthebed.blogspot.com

just to be clear, this is not me. i mean, i know i am being manipulatd everyday, but i can't teach you the arts of effective persuasion.

i am pretty sure that most people who read my blog don't live in wisconsin, so this doesn't really matter. for those of you who do live here, even though i am now totally convinced that we are going to lose, maybe you could vote no on the marriage ban even if you think it doesn't matter. just in case voting actually works.

(i am also pretty sure that the 3 people in madison who do read my blog will already be going to the polls.)

Labels: worry

you are tired of hearing about it. i can't shut up. this is obviously something that has affected me deeply. i always seem to have a new thing to worry about - car insurance, memory problems, my current slide into depression. and i am not even sure, aside from the car insurance, if these things are related.

however,

since it is national epilepsy awareness month, i feel justified in writing about this: my memory problem is getting quite bad. i feel like i am losing my mind. i have been on medications before (effexor? celexa?) which caused verbal memory problems when i first starting taking them. i feel like i am having the same problems now. i am also having trouble remembering things that happened reccently. i can't remember things that are quite "big" memories. not suprisingly, i can't remember names. i think i never could remember names. i used to remember events, though. now i forget bands that i have seen, movies i have watched, places that i have been. i ask jon if we can rent movies that we watched a month ago because i think i have never seen them. i can remember things well that happened before. i feel like i can remember every single day of high school. i remember much that i learned in college. i am losing a lot that i learned in grad school. i can't remember if i have read certain books before. i look at my shelves and wonder if i have bought a book that i intended to read or if it is actually a book that i have read. does my problem have to do with the fact that i was having an increasing number of seizures in the last few years? i was having 20 a month before i went on medication. does it have to do with medication? anti-depressants and anti-seizure medications both affect memory. how can i remember stuff? i was going to try to write down things that happened to me at the end of everyday, but i am not very disciplined. i tend to write things down in numerous places. a system would likely help. one problem, though, is reading what i wrote and getting it to stick in my brain. i need to work on this.

jeremy, i told you i couldn't learn. is it true? i know you read books about procrastination (i actually remember this), but can you suggest a book on memory?

Labels: complaining, epilepsy

i got my haircut about two months ago, and i immediately hated it. i hated it as it was being cut. the woman doing the cutting didn't really listen to me and she herself had horribly styled hair. i thought rather than complain, i should quit while i was ahead. it is always a bad sign when the person cutting your hair looks as though half of their hair is a bird's nest and the other half is a mullet. i have wanted to cut my hair off since mid august, but it didn't happen. i am going to do it this week, though.

my fear with short hair is that i will somehow end up looking like catherine papadopoulos from TV's webster. in reality, with short hair i tend to look like DJ from roseanne. i think i am just going to embrace it.

Labels: complaining, tv

Labels: fucked up, scary

lately i have found myself passing a lot of judgement about the way that people raise their kids. why do i have such strong feelings on this? why do i think i even know what i am talking about? i don't have kids and i never plan to. to hear me, you'd think that i know everything about childrearing, both theoretical and applied. yeah, right.

i do know that if i had a kid, i'd want her/him to be a lot like my nephew. for christmas he wants pads of paper, a copy of the emancipation proclamation, and 5 2006-2007 texas bluebonnet award winning books. yeah, the kid is weird. only problem with him is that he doesn't like stickers. that is messed up.

Labels: good things